Well, we recently watched Despicable Me. Normally I screen all the movies my children watch before hand. This one I had heard was decent and funny; I knew nothing about the adoption aspect in this movie. So I didn't screen it before hand (I know not very smart) and here we are in the middle and I wanted to take it out. Problem was I know my children and it is worse to not finish the movie because they have a whole slew of unanswered questions. Kole was panicked, poor kid. He was so upset and concerned for the safety of these little girls. He was standing on the couch and said I do not want these horrible things. Jadyn was cuddled up on one side squishing my arm, Milana curled under the other and Kole on my head. Nika was wrapped around the side of all of us. They had all gravitated over by the middle of the movie. Donnie had to leave for work and didn't get to finish (not knowing what the movie was about either). Milana took it the best because of how much we have explained to her about adoption and her life. She said, "Mommy look, he made mistake. He try hard make it right. Now they family. Their's mommy could not care for any baby now. Grow new family." She seemed to understand the growth that the small group was experiencing. She told me calmly everything that happened in the movie and gave me big hugs, kisses, and smiles, and said You my mommy! You my family!
Jadyn, Nika and especially Kole seemed mortified. The harsh depiction of an orphanage and the lying evil scientist who easily adopted 3 girls upset them horribly. I was very saddened to see how hard this movie makes it for adoptive families without a GIANT FAT warning! I know it is my fault that I didn't fully research the movie. I did watch it with them and explained to all of them that they would never be returned anywhere! Kole just kept asking, "why would they stick them in a box of shame, why would they erase them from the wall, why doesn't he go back for his girls?" I had a whole lot of explaining once the movie was over. They were satisfied with the ending. I had to tell them that some adults make many mistakes too. That Dad and I are not leaving you anywhere. If anything were to happen to us, we have a plan and you would not be in an orphanage. Not my most favorite movie about adoption. Everything in this world happens for a reason; this was a learning experience and luckily in a safe environment with love and someone to explain all of this to them. I can't imagine the impact on a traumatized child who watches this alone. These girl are quite resilient and display some behaviors that closely mimic children who have been hurt (although it was cute when the little one wrapped her body around the man's leg, it still was not an appropriate behavior for just meeting someone... hello social promiscuity!).
I am thankful to have seen my children be sensitive, in different manners, to this material. Adoption holds a special place in their heart and even though they were upset about the treatment within the movie, I was warmed to know that they do not turn a blind eye to important themes that need to be discussed. They have learned something, especially because I was there and we were able to have an open conversation about it. Granted, I wasn't prepared to dive into this realm at this particular moment, but life is unscripted... when do we ever really get a warning. I'm glad that I didn't fumble and drop the ball completely. The rest of the night, they were sweet little cling-on's. I am so thankful that they view Milana with such love and protection that they were hurt inside about this portrayal of adoption. I know that may sound strange, but it helps me to know that they have grown and matured to understand something that those untouched by adoption do not understand. This is the enrichment we need as a family. So yes, I was shocked about the movie, but was it all bad... I can't really say that it was. And hey, I didn't end up in the emergency room with stitches. It was a cute movie, but it does have some deep things that need to be fully explained.
So in other news, I am swamped with school. Almost done with this semester. Decided I am just going to have to write snippets and forget grammar, spelling and all that fun stuff if I want to be a friend on my blog. I miss everyone. Milana, Jadyn, Kole, and Nika are doing amazing. Donnie and I are doing well although super busy and my dog is awesome and naughty at the same time (boxer puppy). Please don't forget me, I won't forget all of you.
Oh I forgot to write about my favorite melt your heart night. Milana was going to sleep one night and said firmly, "Mommy, you hold me, Mommy you kiss me now, Mommy, You are my bestest friend in whole world! I love you!" It was after a particularly hard day and I do have to say, I did not have a hard day for a whole week because it just is an awesome thing to think about. Or the sweetest thing, she saves her snack everyday at preschool. When I pick her up, she talks about sharing it with Jadyn the whole way home and then runs in the house screaming, "Jadyn! Jadyn! I have snack for us to share! One! Two! One me, You two!!! YYYAAAYYY! Today she had rice and Jadyn asked if she could have her Chinese rice. I tried in vain to explain that it is just rice that happened to be bought from a Chinese restaurant. Next thing I know, Milana tells me that she was born in Chinese rice! I tried so hard to explain that she was born in Taiwan and yes, she is Chinese but Taiwanese too and all she cared about was that she was born in Chinese rice! I never thought I'd hear the words, "You were not born in rice," come out of my mouth.
DC 2016 – Day 11
2 months ago