Precious Wonders and Little Monkeys

Terrifying, Blessed and Funny Moment ALL AT ONCE!

2012-01-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

Slowing down the clock; watching a terrifying moment turn into moments of rejoicing, complete with comedy from the peanut gallery. While loading my children in the car after school today, I ran through a final checklist before reversing. I glanced into my blind spots and slightly noticed a mother loading her 2 to 3 children in her van with an infant baby stroller just outside the passenger door. In that split second, I saw a huge gust of wind thrust the stroller forward at great speeds and out into the street. Not one single person noticed... except me.

I felt like a golf ball was lodged in my throat and frantically started screaming, "Save the Baby! Save the Baby!" This wasn't a normal scream (I used to sing opera); it was a Curious George, opera lady in the bath tub type of scream. I couldn't take my eyes off the baby coasting further into the road. Without thinking, I began viciously pounding on my horn while screeching, "Save the Baby! Save the Baby!" My closed window did not carry my screams well, but that horn jolted the mother enough to turn around.

Quickly, she realized her baby was gone and sprinted into the road saving the baby, which had coasted about 20 to 25 feet. My heart literally hurt. I cupped my hand over my mouth as I gasped and choked back tears. I finally found the window button and said, "I didn't know what to do. I was in here screaming for someone to save the baby and my hands just seemed to only find the horn. Thank goodness it did and your baby is okay."

She looked so shocked and could only stumble out an out-of-breath "thank you." I left quickly, still reeling from the event when my mind began to replay the commentary in the background by my three stooges. Kole, Jadyn, and Milana had not seen the event...the baby event. They did witness something called "Mom." At the beginning of my tirade, I heard a mixture of: "Baby? What Baby? Hee hee, Why is she screaming Save the Baby and honking the horn? I think mom has lost it. hahaha I think she's gone crazy. hahaha Yeah, mom's gone pyscho! hahaha Can I honk the horn next mom? I wanna be crazy like you." I can only imagine what I looked like at that moment to them, but at least one family has been saved from tragedy and one little precious girl is sleeping safe and sound right now. And maybe, just maybe, mom learned what stroller brakes are for.

The Dreaded White Smear!

2011-05-31T21:19:00.001-07:00

Disclosing the child's identity would not be prudent and I want to avoid mocking the child...just the behavior. haha

While waiting for one child to join the others for our nightly story time, I heard incredible screams reverberating through my house, "MOM!!! Hurry, come quick! It's an EMERGENCY!" I feared the worst aka "Is there poop all over?" Rapidly I was met with "NOOOO MOM IT'S WORSE!" Oh you know I bolted up those stairs.

As I rounded the corner I came face to bum with a child standing on the bathroom sink, cupping their hands around their calves. White melted goo had run the length of, not only this child's legs, but their entire body . I glance over and see a new tube of Desitin three-quarters of the way empty. The rest... was on... the child.

The smeary mess covered their hands, arms, chin, legs, bum, toes, and stomach. My initial reaction: how awesomely hilarious!! Next I remembered how hard it was to clean off, how hard it is for me to remember to buy that stuff when it runs low, and a bit of peeved moodiness that the children would now be late for bedtime due to scrubbing a kid for 15 to 20 minutes.

"Why did you do this??!!??" "Uh mom, because my butt was really itchy." I guess really itchy has to be answered back in style.

Pulled the kid down, handed it a bar of soap and said, "Get to scrubbing." That was pure delight on my part watching the nature of life teach the lesson for me... Desitin doesn't come off easy!! haha

The slop proceeded to turn into a greasy concoction that painted my tub, faucet, and increasingly white child. I jumped in and started to help this poor little wild thing (who's frustration was mounting). After I deemed the cleaning sufficient (or my tiredness said who cares), we dried the little desitin hound and lotioned the child's now drier-than-ash body. On the plus side, we now both smell baby-butt fresh!

2 Baby showers & 2 weddings and and

2011-05-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

Please tell me this happens in your house too? Trying to capture a moment of suckers with an Iphone for the friend who gave the suckers to the squirrely suckers.

2 baby showers down & two weddings to go... also conquered a lingerie shower, family visits, trip to AZ after finishing a week of finals for college, and raising 4 kids & two pups & keeping track of hubby! Now on to a wedding reception this weekend, anniversary over Memorial Day Weekend (12 years!... I think if I am subtracting correctly this late at night), a neice being born beginning of June, another neice & grandnephew in July. Alright!!! Surviving with style!

I know I bombed at writing more often. I think I promise because I despise breaking promises.... my kids always know that and try to make me promise to things like ice cream when I'm not paying attention (sneaky!!). I did finish my classes and received 100% in Political Science and 97.9% in math... ok not too happy that I didn't receive 100%... it was because the final was on a pc & the answers I gave were correct but not in the pc acceptable rounded format grrr. Perfectionist anyone?

I also said I would be more blunt. Yes, here is some of what I had rolling around in my head the last year or two. When Milana came home, I noticed my time was spent really being mom, which it was supposed to be. I also found that I started to think about what I would post all night long ... all the things I would write about, but morning would come & the thoughts were gone. I wanted to make grand gestures for momentous occasions but found myself needing to keep things within the family. How was I supposed to blog about feelings and thoughts and their significant meanings when I didn't even understand them myself. I knew if I wrote, the next day or week, I would feel completely different. I came to find that my family dynamics had changed so much that I didn't know what was up and what was down. One minute things were going smoothly and then when I thought, "ok, I can report about my events"... a boom would hit. My children were all adjusting and going through powerful waves of adjustments.

Now all kids go through phases... but these were over the top phases. Ones that I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain. I've learned a huge amount of patience... but the one person I don't have enough patience for is myself. I started taking on too much... telling myself constantly that "I had time"... like Mr. Incredible who ends up being late for his wedding. I never thought I would see the day that I was disorganized.... it's here. I'm learning to accept it (for the time being while the kids are young).

I can't imagine our life without Milana... she is an absolute ray of sunshine & a bolt of lightening, beautiful to see but almost impossible to explain or catch & sometimes harness that power. She has brought so much "life" to our family. I have seen huge growth and enriching thoughts come from our children as they have grown together. The children are inseparable and fiercely look out for, protect and love each other. They fight and make up like other children but there is something magical when they discuss openly observations they have made. They have brought Milana into this world of discussing feelings & "talking back" (grrr) & learning ogre mom is tamed by explaining what you were doing (haha).

This is all off-the-cuff and me talking while sleepy....better now than not at all. So thankful for the insight I've gained because of being a mother. I never imagined all the things I would have learned when I first started this journey. I hope maybe by writing some down... I can leave some hints to help fellow moms & parents. 11 years of being mom...& barely scratching the surface :)

Shorts

2011-03-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Picking up their new puppy Smiles!

I am doing dishes and hear Jadyn whispering, "Sit. Shhhhh." I turn around to see her feeding our puppies Chubbs & Dumpster a spoonful of her yogurt and then taking licks herself.

"Jadyn, what are you doing?!"

"But mommy, I just couldn't resist Chubbs' cute little puppy face!"

My sister came over to my house before I arrived home. Jadyn sees her car and emphatically declares, "Mom! Open the door quick! I need to get out because Aunt Jo thinks I'm the cutest one! Hurry!"

Jadyn and Milana bonked heads and Jadyn went down crying (Milana fake cried). I rubbed both their heads & told Jadyn I know Milana's head is hard like a rock. Jadyn says "Actually mom, it's made of metal because she is the meddler & gets into EVERYTHING! She has the power of a metal head and the power to meddle!" Unbeknown to me Milana is really Super Hero The Meddler (as the others have dubbed her). She proudly announces this now and puts her hands on her hips. Well... I guess there are plenty of worse things children can call their siblings.

Kole just finished the 3rd Harry Potter Book (Prisoner of Azkaban) and now has earned the reward of watching the movie. I think the Harry Potter material becomes a little thick from this point on. I truly did not know if Kole would finish a daunting book of over 400 pages. Slightly nervous about book number four. Think I may post-pone borrowing it from the library. Oddly enough, he was scared of the first one (saw it before reading it) and the second one he said, "Mom, this one is so not scary... they left a whole lot out!" That was the point of him reading the book first. He took his time and when it was a bit too overwhelming of a story line, he set the book aside (not an easy task with a movie). So when did you/will you let your children watch Harry Potter?

Nika just experienced her first pedicure & manicure at a spa... she was glowing. So adorable and I swear that child is a fabulous diva in training... the sweet ones. My child is joining the ranks of junior high children next year! eeeekk

Finished my math midterm; somehow finished 100%... totally weird. Tomorrow, I take on Political Science...grrrr bring it on! One more class & prerequisites are complete (just my Occupational Science class!).

The birthdays that I never posted about last year were Milana, Nika & me. I had good reason (emotionally sorting things). Will talk about that soon.

These next two months, I have 3 babies being born (family), 2-3 baby showers, 1-2 bridal shower, wedding receptions, my anniversary (12 years WOOOO), Nika, Milana and my b-days... (and many more extended b-days) and a baby niece's birth to attend to. Don't forget finals! Alright, pass me a crate of Rock Stars! haha

Totally Back & Alive!

2011-03-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

Couldn't stay gone forever, right?! I think I've mulled over my thoughts to myself long enough. Feeling a little cooped & ready to say hey again. Going to school part time still (Political Science & Math this semester, Anatomy/Physiology & English last semester). I've missed a whole lot of comings and goings with everyone (very sad about that). Felt very overwhelmed a bit with all that I have taken on, but now have sorted through a rich mixture of feelings. Confused yet?

I guess I could explain it as chapters in my life morphed into new ones and I didn't quite know where I was headed. I do know that I miss the closeness I felt with everyone of my friends. I also know that it is important to take care of finding "you", which is where I was and where I'm going.

It's the two month long celebration of birthdays in my house again. I will whip up a post to sum up what we've been up to next. I kept promising myself that I would post something fabulous and would sit up and night thinking of what I would write when I have time and then one day it hit me.... I'll never have time if I have to proof-read & censor myself. So off the cuff, here we come. That's what this is changing into. More of me. More of my fly-by-night self. Raw Sara. Scared yet. ;) I'll be checking in and checking back often. Thanks for the patience & back to your regularly scheduled programming.....

My Local Opportunity Village Devastated By Rain

2010-12-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone, I am spreading the word to help out Opportunity Village; this is a not-for-profit organization that helps people with intellectual disabilities. Each year they bring to life the Magical Forest that delights children young and old with a train, huge light display, slides, food (& I thought a carousel). The Marines and many local groups come out and help set the festival of lights up, and my daughter was set to sing there had she not come down with the rotavirus.

Recently, Las Vegas has experienced unusual, torrential downpours which has devastated the Magical Forest and forced it's closure. The much-needed revenue from admission to the Forest is now lost and the organization is pleading for help. If you are feeling generous, please donate to their cause ($10, $5, anything). This is one of the more rare, fun events for children that Vegas holds each year. I was planning on taking the children this year. It has true Vegas spirit with over-the-top lights rivaling a casino. My sister was one that was helped by their organization. She has a mental illness and they employed her for a time. If helping individuals with intellectual disabilities is close to your heart, this is a wonderful cause. Thanks everyone. :)
http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2010/dec/22/strip-scribbles-rain-wipes-out-opportunity-village/
http://www.opportunityvillage.org/

Stuck: Oh, Despicable Me!

2010-11-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

Well, we recently watched Despicable Me. Normally I screen all the movies my children watch before hand. This one I had heard was decent and funny; I knew nothing about the adoption aspect in this movie. So I didn't screen it before hand (I know not very smart) and here we are in the middle and I wanted to take it out. Problem was I know my children and it is worse to not finish the movie because they have a whole slew of unanswered questions. Kole was panicked, poor kid. He was so upset and concerned for the safety of these little girls. He was standing on the couch and said I do not want these horrible things. Jadyn was cuddled up on one side squishing my arm, Milana curled under the other and Kole on my head. Nika was wrapped around the side of all of us. They had all gravitated over by the middle of the movie. Donnie had to leave for work and didn't get to finish (not knowing what the movie was about either). Milana took it the best because of how much we have explained to her about adoption and her life. She said, "Mommy look, he made mistake. He try hard make it right. Now they family. Their's mommy could not care for any baby now. Grow new family." She seemed to understand the growth that the small group was experiencing. She told me calmly everything that happened in the movie and gave me big hugs, kisses, and smiles, and said You my mommy! You my family!

Jadyn, Nika and especially Kole seemed mortified. The harsh depiction of an orphanage and the lying evil scientist who easily adopted 3 girls upset them horribly. I was very saddened to see how hard this movie makes it for adoptive families without a GIANT FAT warning! I know it is my fault that I didn't fully research the movie. I did watch it with them and explained to all of them that they would never be returned anywhere! Kole just kept asking, "why would they stick them in a box of shame, why would they erase them from the wall, why doesn't he go back for his girls?" I had a whole lot of explaining once the movie was over. They were satisfied with the ending. I had to tell them that some adults make many mistakes too. That Dad and I are not leaving you anywhere. If anything were to happen to us, we have a plan and you would not be in an orphanage. Not my most favorite movie about adoption. Everything in this world happens for a reason; this was a learning experience and luckily in a safe environment with love and someone to explain all of this to them. I can't imagine the impact on a traumatized child who watches this alone. These girl are quite resilient and display some behaviors that closely mimic children who have been hurt (although it was cute when the little one wrapped her body around the man's leg, it still was not an appropriate behavior for just meeting someone... hello social promiscuity!).

I am thankful to have seen my children be sensitive, in different manners, to this material. Adoption holds a special place in their heart and even though they were upset about the treatment within the movie, I was warmed to know that they do not turn a blind eye to important themes that need to be discussed. They have learned something, especially because I was there and we were able to have an open conversation about it. Granted, I wasn't prepared to dive into this realm at this particular moment, but life is unscripted... when do we ever really get a warning. I'm glad that I didn't fumble and drop the ball completely. The rest of the night, they were sweet little cling-on's. I am so thankful that they view Milana with such love and protection that they were hurt inside about this portrayal of adoption. I know that may sound strange, but it helps me to know that they have grown and matured to understand something that those untouched by adoption do not understand. This is the enrichment we need as a family. So yes, I was shocked about the movie, but was it all bad... I can't really say that it was. And hey, I didn't end up in the emergency room with stitches. It was a cute movie, but it does have some deep things that need to be fully explained.

So in other news, I am swamped with school. Almost done with this semester. Decided I am just going to have to write snippets and forget grammar, spelling and all that fun stuff if I want to be a friend on my blog. I miss everyone. Milana, Jadyn, Kole, and Nika are doing amazing. Donnie and I are doing well although super busy and my dog is awesome and naughty at the same time (boxer puppy). Please don't forget me, I won't forget all of you.

Oh I forgot to write about my favorite melt your heart night. Milana was going to sleep one night and said firmly, "Mommy, you hold me, Mommy you kiss me now, Mommy, You are my bestest friend in whole world! I love you!" It was after a particularly hard day and I do have to say, I did not have a hard day for a whole week because it just is an awesome thing to think about. Or the sweetest thing, she saves her snack everyday at preschool. When I pick her up, she talks about sharing it with Jadyn the whole way home and then runs in the house screaming, "Jadyn! Jadyn! I have snack for us to share! One! Two! One me, You two!!! YYYAAAYYY! Today she had rice and Jadyn asked if she could have her Chinese rice. I tried in vain to explain that it is just rice that happened to be bought from a Chinese restaurant. Next thing I know, Milana tells me that she was born in Chinese rice! I tried so hard to explain that she was born in Taiwan and yes, she is Chinese but Taiwanese too and all she cared about was that she was born in Chinese rice! I never thought I'd hear the words, "You were not born in rice," come out of my mouth.

http://chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot.com/2010/07/did-you-know-despicable-me-has-adoption.html

Extraordinary Machine

2010-11-03T10:01:00.001-07:00

Just a song to enjoy (Fiona Apple).

Dearest Gift

2010-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Life. That would be life. It is the greatest gift and we are all here to help each other and protect life. Sometimes, with that gift comes heartache born into it. For our daughter, it was a succession of some heavy burdens, but also some incredible miracles leading up to her amazing growth and health. Our daughter was born exposed to Hepatitis B and C. She was born premature, anemic, with a slight heart murmur and of low birth weight. She later was discovered to have hydronephrosis of her kidneys and further on when we arrived to bring her home to our family, we discovered strabismus afflicting her eyes. Her beginnings were less than a stellar ideal place to start, but they gave her tools, knowledge, and experiences that she must learn in this life.

Amazingly, she is in the 75% range for height and weight on American charts. She has no signs of anemia, her heart murmur, and her exposure to the antibodies of her birthmother's Hepatitis B have not caused chronic HBV... she resolved that miraculously at around age 1. We have corrected her strabismus with surgery and she has had an amazing recovery and catching up with her cognitive, gross and fine motor skills, as when she was tested for teh school earlychild program, she is at 50% ready to go to Kindergarten and that was being in the country for less than a year!

When she came home at the age of 2 years and 2 months, I always kept hope that she did not have Hepatitis C, although her pediatrician said she really probably does because it had been more than 2 years and the maternal antibodies leave by that time. We did a simple blood test and confirmed the HCV. I was very nervous about the next doctor appt and post-poned it for a few months. I knew that HCV has many genotypes that determine how much harder or less hard the disease is to treat. Of course the hardest one is the most common to contract. I set up an appointment with the gastroenterolgist to get her RNA tested and to find out her genotype. I received the lab request but something told me to wait. The doctor said that they were not urgent tests so go ahead and wait 3 to 6 months so we didn't traumatize her any further.

Six months later, we go to the lab and as she sits wrapped in my arms, she starts whimpering about the impending blood draw, so I sat there singing to her in Mandarin, wiping tears from my eyes as her body tensed itself and sweated profusely so much that she went into slight shock from it all and started to drift to sleep. I had two phlebotomists assisting us who just happened to be Asian and I could see the tears start to well up in their eyes as well. One was an elderly man who quietly inquired, "Mandarin?" and I just nodded and kept singing. Even though we were behind a curtain, the entire place became silent as they listened. My nerves of singing didn't exist that day, because my daughter needed me more. My feelings were so heavy that day as I vowed that one day, she would be healthy no matter what it took.

I went and picked up the lab results the next day and read that her liver was very healthy, that indeed the HBV was completely gone, and strangely there was no genotype listed because they had to stop the test. That's okay, I said to myself, she will be having lots of these and we'll do it next time. Flu season hit and we didn't get a doctor appt for months to have the lab results read to us. Finally, it had really been pressing on me for weeks, even dreaming about it so I called the doctor's office and asked if they could ask him to read the results over the phone. He called about 5 minutes later, and the most serendipitous, sweetest words come out of his mouth, "She is negative. There is no sign of Hepatitis C. We have no idea why she doesn't have it, but rarely the maternal antibodies hang on longer than usual. That is why she didn't have a genotype." I was shaking and crying and overjoyed, almost speechless (which is highly unusual for me!) and because I kept stammering and asking questions about how it was even possible, he said we could retest in a year if we wish, because he must have thought I didn't believe him. May 4th is the day my world changed. My perspectives were given a jolt. I was ready for a long haul. My heart went out to all the people who are HIV, AIDS, HBV, HCV, HDV positive and so many other blood diseases, and who may never hear this kind of news, but today was our day to rejoice and they would want that.

I screamed and cheered when I got off the phone, ran and picked up Milana and gave her the most kisses she would allow (and maybe a few that she probably was like, Stop smoothering me! hee hee) and then gave huge bowls of ice cream to all the children. I called my husband and told him, who was of course in shock, and confused. Then he was upset because she was perfectly healthy and yet had to wait two years for her family. I told him that it was because she was meant for our family. I called family members excitedly and we all cheered, cried and overjoyed. All week, I would just think about the news and start to cry again. I get so giddy and happy everytime I think about it, months later. My gratitude cup is SOOOO full for her health. No parent wants their child to hurt.

I never never gave up hope that I would see this day of her being Hep C free, but I imagined I would be 50 or 60 and possibly have contracted it myself, making sure that she was taking care of. I resolved that I didn't care if I contracted it as long as I gave her a wonderful life. I still am amazed by this miracle. I didn't type this immediately; I was worried about saying it too often, like it would disappear as a morning dream. But it hasn't and it's real. I weep happy tears every time I think of it. The burden she unknowingly bore for months was a shared burden for me. Every time I look at nail-trimmers, toothbrushes, razors, band aids, those super-anti-viral wipes you see at the doctors, I pray and say Thank You. My children were taught to respect blood, that as much as it gives life, it can also take it away. That you must treat everyone's blood with sanitary hygiene practices. I have told them that blood requires gloves no matter whose it is because we want to preserve life.

I do want to say for all those who may consider adopting a child who has HCV; for day to day activities, they are like every other child. Unless they have an infection or reduced liver function, you can not tell any difference from one child to the next. Now, when HCV gets bad, it gets really bad, but children who contract it vertically (through childbirth) only have a 4 to 6% chance of keeping it past two years old (they just have the antibodies). If the HCv persists past then, it is considered chronic. The good news is that they have a higher chance of clearing it than adults and they often fair better with it. Little is known about children born with HCV because it is barely being discovered or researched. I have great hopes that in the near future they will have better medicines (like LDN helps the immune system naturally fight infections but there isn't enough funding to push for it to be approved for many illnesses it would help). You only monitor blood exposure and don't share personal hygiene items. They have so much love to give just like every other child and need every ounce of love back. Opening your heart to a child with HCV is an amazing journey. I would do it again in a heartbeat. If you have any questions about children who have HCV, please don't hesitate to contact me. I may be busy but I will answer. It is not a death sentence. Most people die with it, not from it.

Busted Lip

About a month ago, Milana was running in the mall and fell face first on the concrete floor. Four of her teeth went through the inside of her lip and blood just started gushing everywhere. I quickly asked the cashier girls to go get tissues. And they panicked and brought out band aids, wipes, papertowels, toys for the kids, a lei for Milana, a trashcan, some alcohol swabs, etc. One girl said, "I don't know how you are being so calm. I have an 18 month old and I don't know what I'm going to do when my child does this for the first time." I just smiled and laughed, "you get used to it and besides it's all relative." Relative, perspective... I knew that she was going to be ok. I checked her teeth and they didn't fall out or move, her lip was swollen as well as her face from crying, but she was healthy. A bumped lip was the least of what she has gone through. I didn't have gloves at that time and even if she had HCV, I wouldn't have cared, she is my baby girl and I love her with every ounce of my being. I'd give my life for her. Mommy loves you Milana and I'm so thankful you are here with us. Thank you for being my precious daughter.

Cashews in the Washer

2010-08-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

I am taking a break. Really. I have been pre-reading my anatomy book for class so that way when I am doing school for four children and myself, I'm ahead of the game. I'm on page 361 of a 560 page book. Finished my PSY class which was more like PSY year 3 not 101 (even a different professor said this teach went all out)... but I survived and hopefully wiser as well. School starts in one week and I am sorry but summer is way too long of a break; I favor year round schools... why? so many reasons, like doing daily homeschooling is exhausting while they're out (I give huge props to the full-time homeschoolers!!), adults don't have 3 month long breaks so why get the kids used to that and then throw them out into the work field and see if they can reverse 20+ years of summer break, and three, my ideas lag about the 2nd month on how to keep them entertained especially while reading about the sternocleidomastoid muscle while the kids are sneakily kicking each other and blaming the other child.

Oh wait, this was called "cashews in the washer"... why, because that is what I found when doing the wash after going to Legoland this summer. I put them in Kole's pocket when we went to the ocean to keep him eating and his mind off of... dun dun dun dun SAND ON HIS FEET! I had to pick out tons of them. I've had a multitude of oddities turn up in the washer but never cashews. What odd things have you found before? Haha... and you probably just thought I was nuts naming this post about nuts! har har I need sleep.

I also found that Milana LOVES rollercoasters and other exciting rides... not too keen on the darker ride that strolls through cave-like interiors. Kole... not a thrill seeker; loves laser shooting rides. Jadyn half and half and Kole's nerves seem to overtake her sometimes, but Nika and Milana's adventurous spirits sometimes win out... Nika mostly there and while she'll go on any ride, she gets nervous just before take-off. I don't have nerves other than wishing I didn't have to rub my neck after the inevitable whiplash of the bruisers. The kids are so adorable and loved having some time to chill.

We also went to Arizona in June for a week and a half. My niece's wedding gave us a great reason to visit everyone. It was right in the middle of my PSY class so I did 4 wks of college work in two weeks (which since it was a summer class was equivalent to 6-8 weeks) just so I could go and enjoy AZ (I think I still am having dreams about seratonin re-uptake!). We went swimming, visited a small amusement park, had a great pot-luck with my giant familia (which some of them had never met Milana before so that was actually very nice as Milana really liked them... I waited for her to be freaked out by their sheer voluminous numbers but she did awesome), and my kids went on a boat for the first time ever... I even wake-boarded and didn't get dragged the whole time.

Fun stuff

2010-06-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Nika's podiatry appt and she no longer has ingrown toes! Yippee! No more pain.

Donnie and I celebrated our 11 yr anniversary & we got.... a new bed! Okay, everyone needs to get a Wynn Dream Bed... so not kidding. We both laid down on our backs and couldn't move... we both sleep on our sides but couldn't get ourselves to roll because it was so comfy. So my brave husband went first and said I had to try it because it was even better. I have slept so soundly the past couple nights; it's amazing. Oh and Happy Anniversary... I really do love you more than the bed. ;) You really are the only one who could ever understand me and actually enjoy it! I love you.

I still haven't gotten to our b-day posts. I have to do it soon, because I start college on Monday. I am going to start studying to become an Occupational Therapist! WOOHOO! I'm excited and so nervous about starting something for me. I did take my placement test for English and received the highest with ENG 101. I was so nervous that I'd have to start at the bottom because I haven't been in school for 13 yrs. I chickened out of the math one... so I can study more. I even bought Danica Mckellar's Math Doesn't Suck & Kiss My Math books... they are for middle school girls but I think I may have forgotten middle school math steps. oops.

Milana had a Urology appt & ultrasound and.... her kidneys are healing! Her hydronephrosis is lessening and we will do one more ultrasound in a year to make sure she continues to outgrow this. Her bladder size is going back to normal and this is excellent news. Her health is such a miracle and blessing.

Kole told me the other day, "Mom, I know what psycho kenesis is! It means you can move objects with your mind." Um, Kole, I don't even know how to spell pyscho kinesis... where did you learn that from?!@

Now, I need to run off again. =) ♥☻☺

Quick note

2010-05-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

Kole does not have Scoliosis! I know that I didn't tell anyone because I don't like worrying people. I soooooo thankful about this as well as no cataracts. He has posterior embryotoxon (the white of his eye covers a bit of his iris) which is a heightened risk for cataracts. But it's alllllll good! Many times blessed. More good news to follow.

Nika, Milana and myself had birthdays in April! Woohoo! B-day posts to follow. Let's see, we had spring break, Milana started preschool, and we will be having our final post-placement report this week. We have Nika's choir concert (so very excited to see that)!

Milana's preschool: She is doing absolutely wonderful! I stayed for days there but went into Kole's classroom and visited every 15 to 30 minutes until her body tension eased. She was a champ by the second day and very eager to go. I came back an hour later to check on her and she didn't run to me; she looked up excitedly and asked me to come look at her art. She was having a blast and it really eased my mind. Her demeanour has completely changed from almost a year ago. She is funny, bright, has budding confidence, knows her family well, is becoming predictable (HUGE BLESSING) and many many more great blessings have happened and continue to happen.

Well, the kids are hungry... have to run. =)

Shake the Glitter

2010-04-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

"Shake, shake, shake the glitter." Katy Perry's song is so true. Hubby calls me today and tells me the bad day he's had so far... but it is so hilarious too, sad but funny. He gets a call for water in a room, checks the room and there is water soaking the carpet by the bed and air-conditioner. Odd because when tubs leak, they usually soak only the tub below. So he treks up to the room above.

He tells the occupant he needs to check the room for water damage and they find it near a huge mound of now wet and damaged convention clothes laid out near a wall. Obviously not the leaky room, up another couple floors and when he finds the closed room with water pouring out, he bangs on the door, yelling for the occupant to open. No answer, so after trying a few more times, he warns he's coming in.

Six inches of water comes spilling out and he sees three luggage cases floating around the room. He wades into the restroom and finds a tub overflowing and a shower running with a woman passed out, laying across a shower bench. He yells at the woman to wake up. No reply. Turns off the shower and keeps yelling for her to come to. He can't wake her and at this point with the way her body is draped across the bench, he has no idea whether she is just crazy inebriated or wasted by drugs or drugged. Finally he gets her to mumble out, "Is this a dream?" He says, "No this is very much reality, and you had better get up and get it together because in about 5 minutes, you're going to have a room full of men in here draining the water."

He says her only dry clothes were dirty on the bathroom counter, and out of her 5 day stay for work, this was her 4th night (almost made it unscathed). She had two cots in the room and asked where the guys were.... then she realized these "guys" did not stick around and abandoned her. Now what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.... except your $8 - $10,000 flood bill.

This is literally one of millions of stories. My husband says this song is his theme music. So to today's Aquatic Beauty ... that's what you get for waking up in Vegas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CYuAcTEkU4 copy and paste (embeding diabled)
Katy Perry - "Waking Up in Vegas": "One Of The Boys" (MTV one but delay on words and it bugs)

Milana has something to say...

2010-04-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

Jadyn & Donnie’s Birthdays

2010-03-27T21:59:00.001-07:00

Donnie and Jadyn’s birthdays! Yippee!!! Jadyn is such a silly joyous animal. I mean it… she loves animals. Not so much touching them and loving on them; she loves their animal magnetism to the point of mimicking them daily. Tonight she told me she wasn’t Jadyn… she is “Beast Boy.” The other day while picking up Kole, Donnie said she was hanging out the window yelling “squirrel!” at passer-by’s. If you haven’t watched Phineas and Ferb or the movie “Up” you wouldn’t get it. Just type in “Squirrels in my pants” in google. Oh she is a hoot and so intelligent. Ok, so Kole had his testing and I saved Jadyn’s report for her b-day. She also tested in the highly gifted range… like 6 to 7 year old range of 98.6%. See… I’m outnumbered! She is reading overnight. Literally. She was trying to read a cereal box a few months ago and Kole told her that she couldn’t read. Well, that slightly ticked her off, it seems, as she kicked it into high gear and is flying through books. I also thought I’d do some math with her and she finished the entire Hooked on Math set in 25 minutes… the games, books and DVD rom. I am at a loss! I have no idea where to start because I get some curriculum, settle down to teach it and they say done. I don’t even know where to start anymore. How am I going to keep up with them?

We are so thankful this year as we just found out Jadyn’s heart murmur is one of those innocent functional ones. whew. I was concerned and lost sleep over that one. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to worry anyone; I also didn’t want to think about it until I knew for sure.

Back to birthdays! Jadyn had a Ironman cake… yes, she is Ironman as well. She really loved her presents and time with family and we love every minute with you my sweet multi-animal darling. You guys will get a tiny glimpse of our comedian in the pictures hopefully.

Donnie… that man is my hero. He seriously is a tank, indestructible or something. Happy Birthday Love. Enjoy your two years on me because I get you back down to one in about a week! I love our birthday tv’s. As we have aged, we seem to pick out our own gifts and really just want time together and also to watch the kids enjoy life. We also want to enjoy all the dinner night out gift cards with free-babysitting! Yum! Thank you mom & mom!

Squirrel. This present was given because 26 animals will be enjoyed by Miss Squirrel.

Nika’s crazy horns on her Avril Lavigne jacket.

And finally, I’m going to post a youtube video of our CNY fun. Turn the speakers on if you want to listen. =)

hApPy bIrThDaY kOlE!

2010-03-03T21:54:00.001-08:00

It’s such a great day! 6 years ago this week, my little man came into our lives and blessed us with so much and soooo many laughs. Our little handsome man is a pretty awesome little dude. This last week he graduated/exited from his developmental delay program (speech, fine, gross motor skills, social skills) and when they tested his IQ, Surprise! He scored in the upper extreme range, with a score of 144 out of 145. He has brains 99.8% higher than kids his age. Hello! Not sure where that came from and now having trouble figuring out exactly where to start to challenge him, but so happy for him. The principal sat there with her mouth open in awe and the other group of teachers and I couldn’t help but giggle as he read us a chapter book that he had started and finished during our meeting. It’s one of those odd, awe-inspiring, shocking things to see a kindergarten child not stumble over words like lieutenant and counterfeiting. Normally they don’t even test kids for gifted capabilities until they are in second grade. Since he qualifies and they haven’t even had one in this school yet, they have to make him a program and tweak it for a kindergartener. Whew… Still shocked here. Very excited to see what he does.

Today we spent two hours setting up the “Tower of Doom” (actual name) for our little man and the kids had a blast playing with it. Have to get to bed, but couldn’t sleep without wishing my Kole-o-ly-oxen-free a Happy Birthday. I love you. =)

He is such a goofball!

Earthquake in Kaohsiung =(

2010-03-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

Sigh.

Just a pic update =)

2010-02-22T06:44:00.001-08:00

We’ve been fairly busy. I’ll upload our Chinese New Year adventures soon. Then since I’ll be caught up, I may have time for a note. I miss everyone ALOT. Four is a busy number, but I think even more so when one of my monkeys equals about 5 by herself!

Credit Score Humor

2010-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

"Why Your Credit Score Doesn't Matter: You can’t take it with you.

Do you really want someone at your funeral to stand up and say, “My friend was a great guy; he had a credit score of 807.” I sincerely hope you define your life in more meaningful ways. I suppose you could have your credit score placed on your tombstone, but is that how you want to define your legacy?"

Someone shared this with me and it made me laugh to think about how much weight people put on that thing.

So behind on posting. Anyways, I've been better at Facebook (it limits my talking time ha ha) sofa brain is me. =)

Help Haiti

2010-01-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

Haiti is the most impoverished country in the Westerm hemisphere. That said, they just experienced a 7.0 earthquake with absolute destruction and havoc all over Port-au-Prince. Many people are left homeless, without supplies or have died. Please find a way to help. One way is through Wycleaf Jean's Yele organization. He has opened up a way for anyone to text the word "yele" to the number 501501 and $5 will automatically be billed to your cell phone bill. Wycleaf Jean takes this disaster especially seriously because he has family and friends in Haiti, as he is Haitian. He started Yele to provide scholarships to disadvantaged in Haiti. He is flying down now via the Dominican Republic. ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO HAITI.

List of Others Taking Donations: Red Cross, UNICEF, OPERATION USA, What if? Foundation, AmeriCares, Doctors Without Borders (Whose offices there were completely destroyed), Haiti Arise, Haiti Emergency Relief Fund, Mercy Corps, Partners in Health. Also our agency FEC, whom we adopted through with Taiwan, has orphanages they work with in Haiti... they haven't had contact with their orphanages but we await word.

Also please contact your local church and see what humanitarian aid they have available for Haiti. Time is very important to the survivors. Help isn't coming soon enough for those trapped under the rubble. Please pray for the people of Haiti.

UPDATE FROM MY AGENCY: "We can't reach any of our orphanage workers and have no idea if our kids are okay. But we are taking money donations. People can go to www.paypal.com and click "send Money". This will take them to a page that they can enter our email address: donations@foreverychild.org. All donations are tax deductible and every penny will go to purchasing and sending down the supplies our orphanges need.

I can also receive donations of water sanitation supplies, personal care items, medicines, and first aid supplies. We hope to have a group of volunteers ready to head down as soon as the airport is up and running and flights are getting in. We'll keep families posted. But if you can help us spread the word to other families so we have less emailing and phone calls, that would be great!"

If you want to donate supplies, I'll email you the address.... (never usually put my mail but this is crucial... s.o.f.a.l.v @ h.o.t.m.a.i.l .com please erase the appropriate periods except the one before .com.

Sneak In One More

2009-12-24T21:37:00.000-08:00

Just one more post before the Christmas post... did I make it? Belated post of doom headed your way. Since Thanksgiving, we've had a very busy house... more than normal, if you can imagine that! Nika had her Honor Choir Concert and was also chosen to sing at a regional meeting with about 150 principals. Whew... that would've made me nervous, but you wouldn't believe how awesome the children sang. Kole had his Holiday concert and the teacher surprised me by having him read The Grinch! I was shocked... he never told me and probably wouldn't have had I not been there... that little rascal...he did awesome.

We had Star Wars Fests with my sister and her hubby bringing presents of Jumbo over Thanksgiving, and also throw in some 4 projects for school including the water cycle, scare crow, Thanksgiving Turkey, and a Christmas Tree. Milana had doc appts. and our 6 month post placement. Milana is making huge strides with language and understanding discipline. Jadyn had her speech exam etc. (she qualifies for speech therapy; her cognitive language and psych eval set her at 6 yr and up... so we go with speech). The therapist said he'd never had a child test as high as her for her age group... I couldn't help but giggle through the evaluation because she was even surprising me.

I'm sure I'm forgetting lots like Milana seeing Santa for the first time and of course the first thing I hear is, "Mama, up PLEASE." Oh and the giant ear wax that came out of Milana's ear when her equilibrium straightened from her eye surgery... I saw this little piece I could reach and when I swiped it out... I started to scream because I'd never seen something so huge come out of a child's ear! She was very happy to have it out.

Included in the photos are Nika's water project, Santa pic, Milana's art... which I think there is a Chinese symbol in there somewhere, Our fakey camp out in a tent up in the loft, GIGANTIC EAR WAX O DOOM and more.
Nika wrapped herself up for Christmas!
Taking her painting very seriously. Actually she is concentrating on holding still for the picture and then immediately jumps up and down saying, "I see? Me see? ME ME!"

Someone want to translate? I think she has awesome brush strokes. Since when do two year old's have brush strokes?!
Hello ear wax! Hello broken finger! That sucker has always looked broken.

Kole had to make sure all 5 Luke's fit.

Nika married Luke off to Barbie... Kole wasn't too sure of that one!

Don't you wish you fit in a car seat still?

Few of my favorites

2009-11-23T10:35:00.001-08:00

"Mom, you're older than Michael Jackson right?" -Nika Thank you, Nika.

"Mom! Mom! I got a Muscl-lator just for you!" Kole pronounced as he ran from one of the houses he trick-or-treated at for Halloween. Reading in dim light is hazardous to your health... you get "Whoopers, Sneakers and Muscl-lators" (Whoppers, Snickers, and Three Musketeers)... the latter given to your son by a man who looked like the only guy who could grow hair in N-sync... sorry Joey Fatone. I thought the Poor "Muscl-lator" was going to fall over when he heard Kole running off with his candy for me, while he tried to look very fancy in a tank-top during a cold Halloween night, giving candy out to children. P.s. I didn't snag all the Muscl-lators, Whoopers and Sneakers.... I swear.

Milana was woken up from a nap the other day and of all the things she could say before she even opened her eyes... "Mama, I want an Oreo."

Jadyn likes chap stick:
What Nika, Kole and Milana were doing....

What Jadyn was doing. She was tired.
The hot new doll fashion brought to you by Nika. Fully biodegradable and oh so chic.

Enjoying the tigers but oh so hungry and tired by now (Long day at The Dolphins and Secret Garden at the Mirage).
I have no idea how Nika does that... You just say her name, and POSE!

"Why isn't he eating him?" I didn't answer that one... got any ideas? ha ha And yes Kole, Baby tigers are very cute.

What part of my post would be complete without some screaming?! Turn down the sound. Daily exercising of Pepper the Hamster and crazy kids. "HAAAAMMMMMSSSTTTTTTTTAAAAARRR!"

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

Halloween Costume Time!

2009-11-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Was I a witch?

I am Elvis? (thank you very much)

NO! I am Tinkerbell! What do you expect; it was my first hard word in English! Beautiful Fairy crown courtesy of Miss Judy.... thank you sooo very much; she loves it and we often keep it up because of the love oozing out to break it.

Give your 5 year old son a whip and you're guaranteed to have fun! My one and only Indy. Our little Batgirl all grown up and ready to fight crime!

Spidergirl steps out of the comics long enough to go to a rock concert; uh I mean trick or treating.

Fly Tink! Fly!

Family pic at Grandma's before forever altered by candy... although Daddy's eyebrow already looks altered. Milana did not like the sparkles I stuck on her face... she grimaced for awhile until they dried.
Sorting way too much loot with Daddy.

Goodnight Jack! Hey, who forgot to blow out the candle?

Post Surgery Updates

2009-10-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know... how dare I make everyone worry about us... two weeks almost. Many excuses: waiting for the doctor check up to say a-ok (no counting chickens before hatched here), busy with a newly eye-sighted child (that's a major part) and life must go on... never slows down here. The reason: I just didn't do it. I apologize.

We have EYESIGHT! She is so excited to have her "new eyes"... and "eyes all better now" my favorite, "eyes no owie, all better, thank you." She is doing everything she couldn't do before as fast as she can as often as she can. First order of business was twirling ... lots and lots of twirling.
Well, actually the first order was to make sure Nika, Kole, Jadyn, Daddy were all still here. She was scared going in to the center because the girl knows what's up. She glared at nurses plenty but cooperated. After she was dressed (lovely nurses let her keep her pj bottoms on... Kole's ear surgery... different story), she went with Grandma and I to a child's room where she played with a wagon of toys. That was some serious fun in her book. Then I gave the camera to her and she snapped away until the anesthesiologist came in and ordered up the Versed. Translates to very loopy child with sedative (drunk) behavior and no short term memory. Kinda funny to watch and lightens the mood when your child is stumbling around mumbling abc's. I was sooo grateful she still was speaking in English and still remembered everyone. That was an odd fear of mine.

Off she went groggy; we walked her to the double doors where she parted with the OR nurse and mumbled "bye"... half way down the hall... Versed can't stop her! She realized that is not a proper goodbye and screamed at the top of her lungs down the hall, "BYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!" I yelled back "bye" as all the nurses giggled. 1.5 hrs later, "She's crying for ya." I can hear her as I near the door and she's calling for mama. Yeah! She still speaks English and remembers me. She snuggled into my arms and just settled down to try and wake up.

As soon as she was home, she wanted to be ready to go but the darn meds, just made her so tired. That didn't stop her from trying. Hardly any blood in her tears and she was EXTREMELY obedient about not rubbing her eyes... crazy will-power.

All at once, she could see, she was so excited to point everything she hadn't really gotten to see. She ran around the house (as best she could and also for the next couple days), just excited. The best part: She looks me in the eyes and her countenance changes. A small tweak of the face to reveal a soft smile when I look at her... not a blank searching, trying to put images together. This is something your children do and I never noticed it fully until Milana. It is a HUGE forgotten gift and blessing. As I put her in the car for her first car ride after surgery, she stopped and studied my face and ran her fingers along my cheek and jaw slowly and then met my eyes... and then smiled and giggled. I have not had that yet and wow, pretty powerful stuff.

After this honeymoon period, she wised up and even though she couldn't figure out what had happened, she knew something had happened that wasn't fun. She kinda reverted here and there with behaviors, words, temperament, while she processed feelings. Now, she's all back and then some. Having her eye surgery has not only given her sight, it has helped us get past almost everything that has been a struggle for all of us. It was like overnight she just totally said to herself, I am part of this family.

Yesterday, we went to the doctor to check and everything is healing beautifully. Her eyes are just a tiny flick out (which is good because you don't want them in). The doc says only he would notice this and he also said it's not often. She has completely memorized his doc routine. Lately after surgery, she's had one night accident and one day... I figure still processing everything. Stress can wreak havoc on ya. Yesterday, we went to the park and this is the first time I've ever actually seen her enjoy the park. Donnie said all this in one sentence, "She is very enjoyable." Enjoyable... this really has been and she most definitely is. The other children are thrilled to have her seeing as well... and oh my stress levels have seriously dropped. I ran around crazy scared that she was going to eat it down stairs, off curbs, chairs, slides... etc. We are soo glad you can see, wo de bao bei. Daddy calls her little Ni Hao. hee hee Donnie also yells out kai shing! at odd times or asks her if she is. She always giggles. The one word she has kept as never interchangeable... wo chi... my foot.... oh I love those wo chi's.
She was ready to cruise outta there with that wagon.

She's LOVES her wo chi's. Not bad focusing for being two!
She took this of me and then laughed with approval.

Grandma just gave her Minnie and now she's in LOVE with anything Minnie and even sings "It's the Minnie Mouse Clubhouse." Mickey, you got the boot.

Never too ill to help... she loves the dishes.

A couple hours after coming home from the surgery center with her new baby doll.

My little loopy Milana.

Before Surgery & Thoughts & Some Pics

2009-10-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

They totally did the "slow motion run to each other across the grass and hug" move and I didn't have the camera on video mode.

Here Milana! You Kick Like This!!

This is one of my favorites because it looks like Kole is pulling Milana's hair. He is actually explaining the dynamics of "how to do a jedi force punch." I'm not sure if he made this move up or not.

Oh! My Bubbles!

Are you not turtle-y enough for the turtle club?
Before surgery. I often wonder what she can see. I once asked her and pointed, "Is this the eye you are looking at me with?" She jumped and then laughed and said yes.
Thank you Sarah for the lemonade dress... this child definitely makes lovely life lemonade. P.S.Milana really likes to point and ask for this dress almost everyday.

Today is a choking back the tears day. Tomorrow, Milana's eye muscles for her strabismus will be repositioned. Four months ago tomorrow, Milana walked off a plane, onto American soil, and into our home and hearts. I have seen such growth from all of us. Some tremendous amounts of patience has grown from a tree we didn't know existed. Some more buds of patience continue to grow. A tree of deep soul-searching and deep unconditional love is growing from each of us in different ways and amazingly at different rates. When one of us is weak, the others carry the weight to keep the family going, and most often the person who is faltering. The enrichment this little one has given our lives is something special. It's funny how perspective can give you a heavy dose of what is real and what is your reality.

Perspective. Today, I am quite a bit more patient with the children. Knowing of the surgery to come can do that. I will wake up tomorrow at 5 am, off to the surgery center at 6 am, surgery is at 7:30. I will bundle a still sleeping Milana who I have told about the surgery, shown pictures, and role played a little, but she is still a very oblivious little one who trusts me so much to protect her. I am nervous about her being scared most of all. I am going to ask them to give her a sedative before they separate us... I think it's more for me. Will I feel this way tomorrow? Scared, nervous, hopeful and strangely calm that we will have a helpful outcome.Don't know. I know I won't feel this way even months from now. That's perspective. Hindsight. Life.

That's what happens. I know that I have been guilty of not having fresh perspective, when my nerves are worn and the children are "extra exploratory with brain challenges". This life is all about learning. Tomorrow, my world will not be black and white as a memory or photo, but in full action color. I must love this little girl because man, my heart is breaking a bit. I know it is important for her to have this surgery, but when you are the one experiencing the helplessness of letting others do work on your child, whew... self-restraint and composure... where are you. Wish us well, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Funny, I know my family is strong-willed which I think I may hold the crown... often to prevent mutiny, I must remember to breathe and let life be. As strong willed as Milana is, I have always been told by my mother, You must be stronger. But I know when it comes to coping skills, Milana has us all beat. I stand amazed at her strength to endure. I am often reminded by Donnie when I worry about her, "She can handle it. She is a tough girl." So tomorrow, she will be fine, I will have been have been taught another lesson in life by my two-year old. Everything you need to know in life, your children will teach you.

So I Was Wrong and the Sickness Ain't Gone

2009-10-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Give me an "S". Give me a "W". Give me an "I", give me an "N" give me an "E" and come here SOOO WEEE. That gastro stuff in the Southern post was the beginnings of H1N1. We're alright. In fact the kids have been the best. Milana was the least sick of all, which makes me wonder if this flu actually was around a lot longer than they are saying and she had it in Taiwan. She barely got gastro and barely got weak and less hungry 2 days. Donnie and I were beat down with the sick stick the last month pretty much. We're suspected the swine flu but didn't get tested and just kept plugging along until we ran into our old neighbor who works for our Pediatrics offices. She's had it for a month too and we basically laughed and commiserated over our misfortunate (spell check says I made up misfortunate) symptoms. She was tested and she is positive we have it.

All in all, we didn't get it too badly... we have all the symptoms they posted on the websites with a few of the (you should rush to the dr. immediately ones), like hubby wheezing. I was more annoyed with the sucker because life keeps going and so do my well kids. Mostly, we were insanely sleepy and lethargic. Headaches that were cruel punishment came out of nowhere and this evil pain in my neck couldn't be controlled by any pain meds I had. I had to start drinking a 1/4 RockStar for the headache and to actually care for kids instead of just zone out with meat defrosting in my hand while I made lunch. It's a bit brutal with the "keeps on coming back" factor but I've seen some nasty sicknesses and I wouldn't label this the worst...knock on word and say a prayer. This thing isn't over yet, but we are doing better each day. Yesterday was yucky... today will be better... I'm determined.

Catching up: Milana received her results a bit back about her kidneys. No Surgery!!! She does have a bladder that is twice the size of a child's her age, which the doctor (who is Chinese) believes was caused by prematurely potty-training a bladder that wasn't ready (it is more Chinese custom to potty-train early... which for Milana being a preemie... wasn't medically appropriate). She doesn't have much feeling anymore because of how she was taught to hold it, so we have to teach her to relax her bladder muscles. Poor thing has an involuntary shiver as the sign she has to go. But we are thankful she doesn't have reflux. We are in the monitoring stage.

Her eye surgery is next Monday. She will have 4 eyes muscles relocated at 7:30 a.m. I am trying not to get nervous... trying to stay calm and so thankful I don't have to worry about the flu attacking us right before her surgery.

Nika made Honor Choir at her school which I am so pleased she tried out. Even if she didn't make it, I know how hard auditions are so I am sooo tickled pink that she did it. She loves choir... even if it means off to school an hour earlier.

Kole is a reading maniac! The teacher says he is at a 2nd/3rd grade level. I went to school Friday to help (yes, my sickness is on a loll and I can control the symptoms with no harm to anyone) and these 4th graders came in to read to the K's. I hear the teachers say, "Oh my that's perfect" as they lead Kole to his 4th grader, a tall fair sweet Spanish only speaking child. So here you have this picture of a small Kindergarten student reading and explaining about fire safety to this older child, hunched over intently devouring everything Kole says with amazement. Then Kole preceded to take him by the hand and lead him around the room talking and pointing to all the colors and words around the K room! Perfect for both of them. Now, I'm contemplating asking to tutor this young man as he has zero English comprehension.

Jadyn is just absorbing Milana. Although Jadyn's speech has reverted a little, she and Milana are doing well as they are the ones not at school. Jadyn is starting to learn to read and we are working on writing letters as well. Milana doesn't want to be left out at all so she is full-force absorbing everything! Literally! She's starting sentences. Ok, so I may be the only one understanding her, but I LOVE it. I'm writing about both at once, because they have this love/dislike thing going but they always like to be together. I do make Jadyn have alone time though as you can tell once she is there... she is relishing it.

Milana had her Early Childhood assessment and ... she doesn't qualify! 2 months ago when I made the appt.... she definitely needed therapy. Now, after 2 months of English language, American culture, 3 rowdy kids and 2 parents at her beck and call... she is on target with a small delay in gross skills which I have tips on how to work with. She is at 27 to 30 months. Her actual age is 29 months. I will test her again at age 3 in case her sounds are not coming in the way we'd like to hear or in case her gross motor skills stall, but until then, we just keeping doing what we're doing because I guess it's working?! Alot is her and alot is that she is extremely bright and didn't have much exposure (the therapists think so).

Oh and we had our post-placement about a month and a half ago too. Milana was on her best best behavior which surprised me and I had to tell the social worker that. The social worker thought that she is always super well-behaved which made me laugh. She is a sweet girl and wants to behave, but wanting and doing are two different things. ;0) I think all went well as we don't get the report in this state. Our agency seemed content, so I guess all is well. Mostly, you just tell them how things are going and background info.

Well, gotta go... I hear the elephants stampeding above me as they wake up for the day. Pictures will be soon.

Ok, so I had to go back and add pictures because I just realized my 11 yr first date anniversary just passed by and hubby and I were so busy, we missed it! We've been making sure to still get our date night... small as it may be at times. HaPpY AnNiVeRsArY Love! On Halloween, he asked me to marry him... well it was pretty funny because it was a surprise on both our parts... we hadn't planned it at all. It was Halloween and he told me he wanted to be with me forever. I asked, with a brow furrow, "Uh did you just ask me to marry you?" His answer, "I think I did." My answer, "Ok". The next day... I asked... were you serious? 8 months later, we were married. 11 yrs, four kids later... absolutely inseparably meant to be. Crazy people in Love. And yeah, if you do the math... decided to get married in less than a month. ha ha Met on a blind date years earlier but I was on one with his best friend (who hit me with a four-wheeler that day... yeah, date not so good). Thank goodness for that date.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIt5lGhFyE0

Gasteroenteritis Sucks

2009-09-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

Milana Loving All Over Daddy's Famous Sugar Cookies!
Only the Cookie Monster recipe from 1970's will do.

Stomach flu, gastero whatever... it all sucks. Kole was basically annihilated for over a week (poor thing)... then no one got it for a week. I thought, what an awesome house keeper I am... then Milana (barely... she must have one tough immune system), then Nika (she got it bad), then Jadyn barely and now me... I've been barely dragging myself around the house the last couple days. Stomach Bug GO AAAAAAWWAAAAYYYYY! hmmmph.

We've still been having fun though... can't stop that in my house. I'll post pics later when I'm not so sick. {grumble grumble grumble}

Channeling Famke

2009-09-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

Absolutely by accident, my hair is purple. ha ha I decided to dye my own hair, which I've done many times before but not in the last 7 or 8 years. I know how to mix dye, do foils and highlights etc. so I though no big... I'll go down to the same supply store I've gone to for years and buy some dye. I picked "Truffle"... it's supposed to be a brown (the bottle says "Mega Browns!") with some red hues. hee hee... Hubby helped dye it Purple!

It's not bad and I kinda like it.... unexpected as it was... but not bad. I feel like Famke...Phoenix/Jean from X-men. I think I may just like to say Famke's name... everytime I say it, Donnie goes "Who?!" The pictures don't show the true nature of the purple, even though I tried taking a couple. The younger children didn't even notice but Nika was shocked walking out of her school when she saw mom.

Here's something funny. I have a big red purse from Brighton (if you know Brighton... you know that the collection is sometimes, well, bright). Milana has a book from Taiwan with Teletubbies... Milana calls the purple one with the red purse, "Mama." ha ha Never imagined aspiring to be a Teletubbie.

Time for a quick video

2009-09-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

See what happens when you try to take pictures with these kids. Great job Nika... you fit all the squirrels in!

Scream along with us! it's fun!

Okay! Seriously, who doesn't melt at this pj sisterly love pic?

Nika's Mad Fashion Skill: Who said polka dots, stripes, stars and hearts never match?
First Day of School.

Quickly wanted to show some of the sillyness we love!

School Today and other things

2009-08-24T06:13:00.001-07:00

Milana realizing the joy of making brownies for the first time!

Off to church! Tisra... those babies legs are awesome, especially during cold church!

Yard work with the kids.

Haha! Another cool bug we found that was super shiny green. This one is funny because Nika is scared of bugs and she is actually about 3 feet away. She pretended to eat it as I was snapping a shot.

Spiderman could only wish to be this cute!

Today is the first day of school for Nika and Kole. Kindergarten for my handsome man and 4th for my Nika buns. Whew... even though I'm very excited for them and every milestone they reach... it just means they are also growing up which of course kinda bums me out. Jadyn wants soooo badly to go to school, which is heart-wrenching for me because I want to yell... NO! Stay with me longer! New school this year so both kids have about the same nerves. Wish us well!

Quiet Strength: Milana was an inspiration this last week. She has been to doctor appointments about every Thursday since we arrived home. Urologists, Opthalmologists and Gasteroenterologists... oh my! Say that 3x fast running down the yellow brick road. Milana knew what was going on at the VCUG and ultrasound of her kidneys and I didn't know. She had gone through it quite a few times from what myself, her papers and the doctors and nurses could tell. They said that whatever they did in Taiwan to comfort her worked very well, because she did amazing.

I kept trying to stay calm and be her rock, and she gave these sad frowns that just melted my heart, but her eyes stayed locked on mine and she held me hand. She did everything I asked to stay calm.... breathe deeply, relax her legs when I said soft and rubbed them, sing twinkle twinkle little star, watch Spongebob on Gameboy. I am in awe and so inspired by this little girl. She had to have had this strength to make it through all she has, but I have never been a witness to it before. She did whimper and every now and then started to cry but she was such a trooper. Sad thing is, this was done many times and she never has had reflux which we didn't find out until the procedure was over. The doctor said, this never had to be repeated in Taiwan or here if we had been told she didn't have reflux. I had many emotions over that. I wept as we drove home. The nurse mentioned, "I am so glad that you two paired up." Unequivally YES! At home, Milana wanted extra cuddles and was sooo soo glad to see Nika, Kole, Jadyn, Daddy and Mom and our home. She kept asking about home and everyone during the procedure and especially on the way home. She forced herself to stay awake on the drive to make sure she went home. Wow... these children continue to amaze me everyday.

Well, have to run... I know I promised these posts but motherhood calls a lot louder and with fingers pressing the spacebar as I type a lot more often. ;0) I have gotten to read others posts and commenting is a luxury. I do have to say thank you for all the nice things that were said about me two posts ago. I couldn't be here as a mother without all of you as I read your posts and share our joys and sadness... as you all get me to strive to do well in life. So I am surely not Mother of the Year, without you all being ones too. I am inspired by your stories and every time I read, I get more ideas to share the fun of life with my kiddos. I don't do compliments well, but that one made me feel really happy so I'm not going to say "no I'm not" either! ha ha

Bits of Funnies

2009-08-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Warning: this post is just sillyness and includes, KungFu, betel nut homeless, tattoos, muscles, pigeons, MOMO, urologists and Chinese Dorm boys.

First up: Our daughter came complete with some Kung Fu. We were at the hotel in Taiwan and I said, Hi ya (as in hello) and our dear little Milana comes running with a full side kick screaming High YAH! She still does. I know it's stereotypical but it is comical.

Cell phone ringtones in Taiwan: I was wandering around when I noticed no one there had downloaded songs for their cell phones. The silent library of a packed MRT was filled with stock cell phone rings. I seem to be the only one in America with a stock ring and I often get made fun of... there, I was one of the majority.

Betel Nut Homeless People: Here we had just picked up Milana and stepped off the highspeed rail. We made our way to the subway and as we were trying to find the correct line, we stepped on the wrong elevator. It was one with double doors and I accidentally was facing the wrong door. Exhausted from the day, I was mentally slow and when the back door opened, my husband stepped out with the luggage and I turned around to see the door close and a glimpse of my husband outside who knows where, looking slightly frightened.

Now I'm panicking. Alone on an elevator, he has the money, the passports, the cell phones, MRT passes and I have Milana and no idea where he is. As soon as the doors landed wherever they may (probably looked crazy as I punched buttons frantically trying to remember which floor Donnie was on), I stayed put and said a prayer.

Meanwhile, hubby is outside and turns around to a hoard of homeless people who look like they have bloody teeth (betelnuts) and are so excited to see him. They come running over yelling in Chinese and rubbing their bodies all over. Donnie is a little concerned at this moment as they are lifting their shirts and rubbing their butts, seemingly asking Donnie to take off this clothes. They thought because of his tattoos that he was like the yakuza and tattooed from head to tail. Didn't help that he has some Japanese style tattoos. I was laughing my head off when he told me about the red-teethed homeless man rubbing his butt all jumping up and down twitching and yelling Chinese at him. I wish I could have seen this. As soon as the door opened and he saw us, he jumped on; we waved at probably 30 Chinese men whom I had no idea why they were so happy and Donnie's best friends. Happiest homeless people on the planet.

Speaking of tattoos, we covered them when we went to SLC as not to surprise the guests. Our in country coordinator saw them on the train and was quite surprised. Later, when the guests had left SLC, our coordinator and another social worker were talking about Donnie's tats and wanted to see them. He didn't know if it was rude to change in front of them so he turned his back to the corner. Giggling ensued from the two women and it made me laugh too. I missed the comments and gestures the women were making about his muscles, but Donnie didn't. One was making squishy handmotions as if to squeeze his arms, making woof woof noises of some kind, and smiling coyly, while the other was giggling and trying to shish her, covering her mouth and elbowing her. It was so funny.

Pigeons: In America, they are a nuisance. Taipei zoo... people chasing them trying to feed them and pet them. Grown men and children alike, chasing them down as I kinda grossed out. I wanted to yell, don't touch those dirty things. Nothing at all grossed me out in Taiwan... just that. There aren't many animals in the city so it must be a treat to see the birds. I just don't like pigeons even though they clean up the yuck.

Soy Sauce: My husband's co-worker asks what Milana's Chinese name is, when he says Hsiu-Yu, he says, "Your daughter's name is soy sauce?!" He's Hawaiian and proceeds to tell him that the way Hsiu-Yu is pronounced (show you) is soy sauce in Hawaii. I always knew she was full of flavor!

We went to the Urologist for Milana. While waiting in the room, I see the door slowly crack open and the doctor peeks his head in almost scared. Next he looks confused and starts speaking Chinese to me. I start laughing and say, I don't know Mandarin as he looks so relieved. He then starts speaking to Milana in Mandarin and I noticed her very confused look on her face. I tell him she speaks mostly Taiwanese and he goes, Aw man, I only know about 4 words in Taiwanese. He is very giddy and excited to see Milana and asks so many questions about her. He asks where my husband works, if he speaks Chinese, etc. and then says, so she is part Chinese and I say, "No she is full Chinese." Now the Doc's poor jaw drops open wide as he is either thinking, "This lady had tons of plastic surgery because she doesn't look Chinese" or "This lady is crazy." So I help out and say adopted. Ohh. He tells me he was so confused with her profile that said from Taiwan but the last name is so not Chinese. Now he's even more excited. He tells me that he is second generation Chinese and doesn't know Mandarin, that he is learning it from his son and that his son's tutor lives on his side of town and basically invites me to his son's tutor lessons. I love this doctor. He is so cool! He thinks it's so cool that we accidentally found him as I had no idea he was Chinese when we scheduled Milana's appt. Next the nurse comes in and he takes off, only to come back every couple minutes to tell me more things and ask more questions. He told me to check out Two Lions on youtube... this is what happened when I typed that in.

Enjoy some funny men that my husband and I found looking for Mandarin to teach our family. =0)

MOMO school... if you were wondering what your children watch in Taiwan, it's MOMO school. Milana knows all the songs and they also teach some English. Milana as best she can, has told us all about it. It's very cute... I'll put a youtube vid on this post.

1st Month Survival

2009-07-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Nika's invention. Check Video at the bottom. We found Nika and this invention upstairs. Oh to be this creative again! I loved being a kid.
Preemptive Shoe! j/j You'll realize what I mean when you read to the bottom. Auntie Rakel's shoes fit Milana nicely. This was another pirate moment.

Ok so I'm not on some deserted island in the South Pacific, but it is survival in a sense. It's been about 6 weeks home and I feel a ROUTINE coming on! So I'm going to attempt to write down some of what I've learned. First week home is honestly the survival week. Survive jet lag, crash course of "getting to know you", food, schedules of bathroom breaks, reactions to food, etc. Everything is a new adventure. No matter how many books you've read, you will never completely be prepared regardless of how you bring your child home. This post will kinda be a journal of what we did as well as a rough guide for anyone who brings home a toddler, especially one with vision difficulties.

Ideas for survival, utilize your natural talent to "ham it up". Instead of trying to jump in and teach your child by having them be the guinea... you get to be the star. Milana was scared to brush her teeth, bathe in a tub, scared of lights outside at night, didn't understand why we flush toilet paper, thought cleaning everything is what children do for fun, etc. If you have children already at home, USE them and they love it and crave that extra time with you. Milana started crying at bedtimes on cue almost as if that is just what you do at bedtime. We keep things super fun and upbeat so we decided to lie her down and go around (while she cried at first) and let her see how much fun we have putting the other kids to bed, same with baths, brushing teeth etc. Now, she thinks it's all a blast. She says Thank You! every time you brush her teeth. She loves her bed and now, allows Daddy to tuck her in and even lay with her until she falls asleep. Role play with hand puppets or dolls if you don't have other children. Keep it light and fun no matter how much crying there is. Supportive hugs and cuddle and kisses slowly bring on a round of thousand kisses every night to every inch of your face. We also used this time to name body parts, like eyes, ears, nose. Since our daughter can't see super well, we get in her face to show everything we do.

Gender roles. She didn't like calling Donnie Baba or Dada... she was very confused that he did the same stuff as myself so she decided we were both mama for about a month. She really didn't believe that a man could do all the mama stuff. It was freaky to her. Keep that in mind.

Food: ha ha Ok so she ate everything from the start but she also has no "stop button". The girl will eat until she is burping it up and then try to eat more. She was also extremely possessive about feeding herself, so she now is fed by me... sometimes I let her feed herself but only when she lets me alternate back and forth so she understands that I give her everything she needs. She screams for food anytime someone puts something in their mouth as a snack or otherwise. I have snack times every two hours with the kids and sometimes my blood-sugar gets low and I have to eat after them (not with them). Nika, Kole and Jadyn all know this but Milana flies into a frenzy if I eat and she doesn't. Well, that is what happens when people live on scarce mode (I know because food was very scarce during my childhood). She had blood work and her vitamin level was good, and I'm not saying that her foster family didn't feed her which is obvious they did. She either went into instinct scarce mode or she didn't have super plentiful food and was frightened it would disappear or "who is going to feed me now?". Either way, she is learning that she can wait for snack time and that there will always be enough food. We distract her with play. Sometimes I hide in the closet and eat cookies or chocolate! ha ha

Finding an achilles heel: Milana's is music. Tried food, touch, smells, colors, visual anything, eye contact. Her's was found by accident. I always sing to her and one time the kids were watching a movie and Milana recognized one of the songs I have sang to her and squealed with so much enthusiasm, ran to my arms, grabbed my face and insisted I sing it. So I got the idea of singing a song and then using youtube to show her.... oh it worked like magic! It was as if she had learned songs in her life but her life long dream was to have someone sing them with her. So tantilize your child's senses, find the magic.

Dates with other children.... HUGE MUST! We've spent the last month taking daily temperatures of the kids of who needs the extra emotional attention that day. We spend time alone with each one each day but sometimes one needs a little extra something. You can tell immediately who it is and they seem to take turns (most of the time it's not all at once). Milana needs us all the time which is expected, but lately she has had moments where she is content (and not hitting) and playing with the others. That is when I sit back and watch. I don't want to interfere with their connecting time together.

Habits/Survival Skills/Cultural Differences. Changes. Let's face it; if a child were to move next door, their whole world and even culture changes. We have family skills that Milana has to learn. Here in my house I run a tight shift. Didn't realize how tight until we brought Milana home. Hitting is just not going to fly; neither is being a "snatchy pants". Those were two habits that had to go. So did scream and drop to the ground at mom's feet when we wanted picked up. We changed that quickly to "Up Please" So much nicer. How we did it: other kids demonstrated for us. That's how we actually had everything accomplished the last month. If your child is an only child and you're having difficulties, might I suggest you borrow some kids in your neighborhood from friends, families, neighbors. You can also use puppets or videos or books about this. Milana doesn't do well with TV as she can't focus with her eyes.

Culture: Keep it alive! Honestly, it made her sad before when I sang Taiwanese songs or played them or showed her pictures, but now she is coming around with a much more peaceful way of listening and looking at them. Even if she went into a Taiwanese family, it would be different for her. Of course, we are the ultimate different probably, but it doesn't mean I shut her off from what is familiar and comfortable. it may bring sadness and reflection but she is now running to me at breakneck speed anytime she hears me sing in Chinese or look at pictures or watch a show. She holds my face lovingly and rubs my cheeks and snuggles in for a hold.

Getting along: Well, that one comes with a love hate relationship for sure. We decided to do games with them that require group effort or the game won't work. Such as playing with a parachute. We bought one at Walmart with reinforced handles. See, we think Milana was a pirate in a former life ;0) "Take all you can, give nothing back." In this game... you can't snag anything and if you don't work together, no fun. So beware the Pirate. Also, sometimes children who can't see well resemble Stitch... they lick everything (the windows at McDonald's playhouse and any and all other surfaces... including people. The eating of anything that may resemble food. All these are actually very endearing.

Complaining: I'm not writing any of this as a complaint or vent... just it is what it is and we are having fun figuring each other out. I'm sure if you all studied me and my habits, you'd be scared. ha ha Each of my kids have odd habits and we fit them in to the family nicely, so Milana and her quirks fit right in.

Books are great for demonstrating opposites. That's important. Sounds odd but it is! I love Maisy books. Get TONS of baby board books from the library. Board books important as they usually withstand the brute force of your new little Hercules. I use a mei tai carrier (forward facing) when we go shopping or to the library. It helps her focus on my eyes better because she is 6 inches away and she doesn't have to stare at strangers in a stroller. Carts are fine but they just don't give the closeness I want.

I jumped right in with my rules and positive and negative reinforcements (aka discipline)... I did it with love and it is paying off big a month later. Milana knows what is expected of her and she knows what happens when she follows and what happens when she doesn't. It has hugely helped our other children's relationship with her as they see us being consistent. My kids understand that they are raised uniquely and according to their needs...we don't choose sides and we don't promote sibling rivalry. This was a hard concept for Milana because she thinks everyone should get everything equally (or mainly, she should have everything). Nobody said life was fair and if I teach that, I'm setting all my kids up for disappointment. It doesn't mean I'm not loving when things aren't fair. I'm sympathetic and show love, but I can't give in just because they want it. I had 9 siblings, I know you don't get everything everyone else did... and I am just fine. No greedy meany here.

Of course with setting the rules, you get to see a very ticked off child, but I hang out with her until the episode is over and then off we go to learn more about the world. This too shall pass. When things get rough and you have those "crazy thoughts", I take a breather... either get hubby, family, someone to take over for a few minutes while I recoup. if no one is available, I place children in front of tv with learning video (Milana strapped into high-chair) and I step away with some food and a nice quiet corner. Stay sane, get sleep, eat well and you can handle it all. Both Donnie and I agreed this is easier than bringing home a newborn. Just our own thoughts. So we are still plugging along and I could see things not feeling all together for a good 6 months or even a year, but we have all improved together as a family by leaps and bounds.

Ok... I'm sure I'm forgetting tons that I wanted to say but oh well. And really, I'm not up for anyone complaining about how I'm doing something or saying that I'm complaining so here is a preemptive "stick a shoe in it or suck on my big toe". If you have suggestions, ideas or techniques, I LOVE THEM. By the way, this is not aimed at anyone specific. I have just had worries about posting my parenting styles and someone blasting them, as well as, saying I'm not doing something correctly or complaining about my expectations etc. (which is part of the reason my posts are fewer) but I'm back to my braver self now. Next post will be a bit more fun. I have to write it all down before i forget.

Oh one more, write down all your thoughts you are having in a notebook, in country at home... all of them, even the ones that are somewhat raw. It helps process thoughts and later if you want to make them more "politically correct" you can recall them. =0)

redirect Baobei

2009-07-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

Something this good needs to be shared. =0) Lots of Babies to gaze at in this video with a beautiful lullaby to sing to your children. Judy has this post about her son's 2nd birthday (HaPpY BiRtHdAy Little Keeper of the Cherub Cheeks, Mr. William!) and I had to pass along the sweet song that Judy unknowningly has given to me as a present.

Milana is now curled up in my arms looking into my eyes rocking with me, as we both sing and listen to this song. I've given Milana bits and pieces everyday of things that are inheirantly her's from Taiwan. Sometimes, they make her sad and reflective but she does crave them. She often times becomes more determined to work on family skills and English, after we look at pictures of her past or listen to Mandarin and Taiwanese. She has become very cuddly and loving during these times of reflection and I see this as a good sign. I want her to give her opportunities to process the changes around her no matter what emotions arise. How can she understand her future without understanding the present and past? I may not have all her language nor she mine, but we have a connection deeper and I feel something very strong coming from role playing and keeping her connected to all things Milana Lee Hsiu-Yu... my little neu neu.

Doc update: She has intermittent exotropia strabismus, but her vision is good (she does have it more than 80% of the time). She is a canidate for surgery but we have to wait until we measure her eye muscles a few more times. She has another appt. in two months. Her coordination and running into walls and falling down should improve greatly. Until then, we make sure we get right in her line of vision a.k.a. "up in your face" so she can see us. Finding ways to make eye contact has been a challenge but one we have taken on and seem to finding tricks to get her to focus on us. One thing is for certain: we will give her everything she needs to help her. She is such a joy. Each day, she pulls tighter on our heart strings and has become such an important unique part of our lives. We love you Milana.

Before I Forget

2009-07-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

Blurry 4th of July pic with Auntie Rakel & Uncle Aaron. Milana liked the fireworks a bit too much and would have been burned had I not taken the car-seat out of the car and strapped her in over and over until she got the hint (she wouldn't hold still in my arms and I ran out of arm power), "Don't run in the street little missy!" She wasn't thrilled at first but earned freedom in the end and now is a champion stay on the curb girl!

This is what ten children look like. 6 neices and nephews and my four! There are ten, just one is hidden.
Milana thought "The Thing" was sooo funny!
Miss P got a new do! Kole's teacher! Milana is raiding Kole's bed while he's not looking. haha
Yeah... Mom just cut my hair and I don't have hair in my eyes anymore! Oh, someone asked if her hair is curly... well it was permed before we met her. We had to cut it off to make it healthy again... it had started to break off when we combed it.
First Dress Up Princess Day!
More of her hair cut (there are bangs but I pinned them back)
Hoooorrraaaayyyy! I'm being sneaky and climbing on Mom's eliptical... oh no, that's a camera, I'm caught!
This one is just funny. I found her in the play-room in this bucket. I carried it out to Dad with her in it! I had to get a picture!
Before I forget, I want to write about the moments that steal your heart and make giant crocodile tears well up in your eyes (thank goodness I don't have time to put on mascara). We've been working on a lot of family skills, basically 24/7 and it takes a lot of patience. I said a big prayer last night that Milana would start to really understand.

One of the things we've been working on is kitchen etiquette when Mom cooks... aka, get to your high-chair if you can't keep your hands off the stove or what I am cutting etc. So Milana can smell things a mile away (loves food beyond love). She saw me today starting lunch and instead of diving into full destruct the kitchen mode, she climbs on a chair and slyly looks at me. I can't resist and start ping-pong calling silly things. Instead of taking this as a green light to destroy.... she runs to me and says, "Please up". I lean down and give her a huge hug and tell her, "Mommy can't right now, mommy making food, cooking food, num-nums. Please Wait". Instead of huge tears, I get "ok mama" and she smiles and starts to walk away. Then she turns and runs back and clinches my leg and whispers, 'Momma is Awesome.!" Then she puckers up for a kiss.

Ok, tears is not the word. I full out sobbed. I've still been slightly crying for hours. That was the best gift ever.

Friday we go to the pediatric opthomologist... wish us luck. I'll be updating more. I'll back-track a bit but I'm finally getting a bit more of a handle on a routine. Whew. Much love, Sara

5 Minutes!

2009-06-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

This is one tired family, but finally all together! Tiff... thank you for her outfit and hair clippies! They are her favorite. She wore this on the plane home and as she walked through immigration. Nika really enjoys her silly sister. These two are extremely busy... this shot took about 7 tries! This was the last one. Milana kept running for the camera to see the shot before we even took it. Screaming YAAAAHHH was the only way we could get her to sit still. The kids thought it was so funny. By the end of the shots, they were all giggling on the floor. Grandma took this before we left for Taiwan... Donnie told Kole to make a silly face. This is what he came up with. I actually have 5 minutes to blog! Today is two weeks since we met Milana and just over a week since the children and all of us have been together. Funny thing is, I forgot I was bringing home a two year old. Silly me, how can I forget the super independent little 2 year olds going on 30! It's been a big adventure the last two weeks. Very emotional too as we found a few medical needs that we didn't know about that we taking care of. I was not expecting some of them so I had to adjust my mental mind-set and find specialists, take care of all 4 children and their adjustments to each other... Mind you Milana is two, teething and independent... all the while trying to connect with her and have her trust us by doing something that ticked her off greatly.... take away her freedom. Not so much take it away, but help her choose wisely with the freedoms she has and help her trust that we can care for all her needs. She wants to feed herself... sounds great right. but not when your other children believe it is a gift to be fed by mom, and Milana thinks it is torture. I mean, how can she trust us when she is a teenager and we ask her not to go to a certain party because of drugs, etc. if she can't even trust us to feed her?

Today... it is a great day! Today, something happened, clicked, fell into place, a small miracle. Today, the kids are not attacking each other, they are all wanting to share, saying please and thank you (that took a long time every minute of the day to teach to Milana and long hours of role play), and the other children are asking to sit by Milana instead of "MOM! Can you please move Milana?" or "Milana's being mean!" And here is my standard starting answer, I have found, "She doesn't understand. We have to help her." Milana is a joy... she is very sweet especially when she has learned our home manners. She wants so badly to be obedient and she is really starting to trust us.... thank heavens.

She has so many great talents that I know come from her foster family and some from her birth family. I love that she shares them with us. She also loves to teach us Mandarin and Taiwanese. Day-day is drink like milk, juice, water, etc. Bong is potty... she's knows both now. She also calls Hello Kitty: Goo Goo Miao. Feet are Wo-chi... we now use Chinglish and say, "I'm going to get your wo-chi's and she starts giggling! She says it in this deep growly voice.... wooooo-chiiiiii's. That's mostly her and her Dad's game. Oh and speaking of growling... she got tired of yelling at me in Chinese, so she resorted to growling at me like a Tasmanian Devil... she sounds exactly like a baby one... no joke. It's so funny and I feel badly laughing when she is mad at me.... but hey, she can't run in the street so growl all you want baby... but you just can't run free!

Adoption has to be the hardest thing in the world for children and this little one has strength that is so inspirational. I know she misses so many things from Taiwan, but I see her trying and wanting to be apart of all our lives. I can now say not only do I love you, but I am in love with you. So yes, we love having her here and excited to have her grow to love us as we love her. Has it been super duper fun the whole time, not exactly. But it has been life-enriching, eye-opening and a strength builder to grow our family. I haven't posted also because I was neck high in the thick of it... monitoring every moment to ensure all feel right as rain. Now, it's my turn! I get to go put on make-up! Yeah! Here's some adventures from the week.... yes, one day I will start to read others blogs and I'm sorry, I just can't right now. If you would like to leave a comment about any life adventures of your own, please feel free as I would like to know. I miss you all greatly. I'm sure you all understand though.

This is what you get when you have four:

Alive and Well, Home and Happy

2009-06-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, not completely well... still pretty nauseous but doing better with each meal. I actually was fine mentally and even food wise... it was just eating at odd times that kicked my bootie! I'm good though. AIT went well... 4 hours but well. Only had one more paper that was needed that was accidentally put in there from another persons file (it was an English translation that had another Sarah on it). By the time I arrived at the hotel to call... it was already taken care of and we were allowed to pick up the Visa on Thursday! Yippee! Then off to the zoo with torrential downpours and panda and koala views. Milana is spunky and silly and an arm work-out! She loves kids and copies them everywhere she goes. She giggles at them constantly. It's a good thing we have siblings at home! Friday was one last stitch effort to get gifts for people. We raced against the clock across town to the Handicraft Market again to get some authentic stuff. People weren't kidding when they said that is the place to buy stuff. Everywhere else is made most places other than TW. We never really got to a night market as my sickness and Milana's exhaustion kept us in after 7... but we did get to see a fair amount of shops just setting up on the streets when the sun goes down. P.S. Save energy until late.... everyone else in TW seems to know that it is just hot and humid in the afternoon and to come out after dark! Coming home went well. Milana slept most of the way on the plane... Daddy dozed happily on his chair and Milana spread herself across her seat and most of mine... I mostly had ten inches and the pull-down-table to sleep on... yeah... 2 hours of sleep out of the 12 hour flight! WooHOO!! Alll good though... it was so nice to see her sleeping next to me... wiping her feet all over daddy! And when they are sleeping... you can mess with their face! She is so cute! At the international airport... well.. LAX took a while figuring out what line we were supposed to be in. They were very kind and let us cut lines but still had a hard time figuring things out. Next... I guess we took too long and they snatched our luggage, unknown to us as we thought it was lost or stolen. So we searched forever and the luggage people said just keep going and hope it will check through. As I almost cried in the customs exit... a man pushing our luggage went by! I screamed and chased him down... STOP, That's our luggage!!! He worked there and gave it back after I verified us! Whew.... next off to the long trek around LAX... to security! Warning: Baby Formula resembles explosives it seems and then they have to swab it. Then get a false positive and start all over! Then to Starbucks for two $28 dollar sandwiches and sit in some seats to rest 45 minutes prior to take off. Yup... that took 3 hours of our 4 hour lay-over. Milana is a serious trooper. Then off to Vegas... short flight but I was beyond nauseous by now. On the way home I missed my kids so much and was so eager to see them. The missing of your children makes you ache... especially with no sleep. That was one of the longest 25 minute drives of my life. So here are some pictures to enjoy! finally. The eggs are a gift Milana and her foster family prepared for her siblings. We still don't have a pic all together... more bonding and loving on each other and so many people in so many places ... we'll get one soon! Hopefully today! Happy Father's Day Donnie!!!!

Almost Home!!!

2009-06-18T05:05:00.000-07:00

Hello, Sara is enjoying a little bit 'o the travel sickness. So this is Donnie letting you know everything went great at AIT today. We went and picked up Milana's Visa and were good to go!!! Then we attempted the Taipei Zoo....Poo Art, and visited the giant Pandas. It has rained all but one day so far!

5 AM on AIT day!

2009-06-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

Oh on the pictures on the last post... we are laughing so hard because she is trying so cutely to do the two finger picture pose... it was so cute.

Yesterday, was so full. Just one of those emotional days that remain with you for a life time and then some. Started off at 4:30 am where I just couldn't sleep. We went trekking off to the MRT...going fast because we were so nervous about missing our train. Sally... beautiful funny amazing woman... and TALL. She had these heels on to and I'm a shrimp! Sally met us at the train and we went the whole way down to Tainan. We chatted the whole way about everything. I told her that I knew Green Island Serenade... she didn't believe me and kinda coerced me to sing it be starting to hum it. So I sang it on the train... she started to cry and then I started to cry... she said it was perfect and that I completely surprised her. I asked her if I could sing it to Milana, yup.

Time to get off the train...shaky nervous hands. Grabbed cab and zoomed through the farming community, colorful little streets and alleyways and winding up at "We're here." She kept asking if we prayed... she kept saying she did. We all wanted Milana to be happy. They were already there when we were there but we had some papers to go through. I paced alot. Then all of a sudden, "She's here but she is extremely attached to the foster mother so we need to make sure we can establish a relationship." My thoughts (oh my goodness... I have two hours to get everything under control... tall order)! At first, she didn't want to come in and they kept trying to give her to me. I gently stepped back and asked if I could sing... Sally goes, "Now!?" So she announced... I started to sing and everyone joined in singing and clapping... It was amazing. Milana calmed down and went off the play with her foster sister. Many social workers came and me and the foster mom held hands on the floor as she lovingly gave us many gifts, notes, pictures, as tears occasionally streamed. She was so loving and true... Milana and our family are so fortunate and forever grateful for her.

Slowly, I started the relationship with Milana with fruit puffs and the foster sister just jumped right in... telling her I was mama and eating my food so Milana would know it was okay. She showed me all her baby photos (loves books)... then she started feeding me and then Donnie all her food. She laughs freely and once comfortable... she was everywhere. I held her foster mother for a long time and she just told me all about Milana. When it was time for her to leave, she was crying as they led her out the door. I stood there holding Milana who was crying for momma and couldn't handle it. I rushed out the door after her and gave her to here to hug and hold. Milana held her and squeezed her so tightly...I took pictures for Milana. Then we led her back through the door and distracted her with lunch. She did wonderfully. And she is potty-trained! huh? I never knew how important the word "bong" would ever be until now! Bong is potty. We stayed and created more of a relationship and she latched on to us to where when we went to say bye... she wrapped her legs around me tightly and really wanted in the car with us. She was so sleepy and fell asleep in the car. She looked for baba in the train... we kept pointing at Donnie. She warmed up on the train and played the whole way. She taught us Mandarin and we taught her English, shoe, hi, bye, mama, Daddy,... she loves running and screaming after Donnie, yelling, "Daddy, Baba!"

She didn't like the busy MRT station and hid in my arms. But oh my goodness does she LOVE Hello Kitty... even the scary MRT couldn't stop her from screaming about Miao and pulling my face until we saw what she saw! We made it finally! Back at the hotel... she must have been on manner patrol... she loves cleaning up, bringing and sharing things with you. She hasn't broken down once... fell asleep on me lying on at bedtime....slept all night.... just the sweetest child. She loves to look at her pictures and can even talk about her foster mom and look at her so excited and with great love and sweetness. I am amazed at her view of the world and have learned so much from her already. We are so immensely grateful, fortunate, and amazed. It is all surreal and I am so excited to see all of the children together. I wrote all this so I can remember to write all my personal feeling down privately for her when I have time. I don't want to forget any event of the day. I don't want to forget the feelings that went along with this day. This post was detailed for me (hope no one minds).... I may take off some private things later for her sake... but for now....I needed to write. Much love to everyone.... we finally did it... It really did happen and now we start a new chapter. Wow!

Nika, Kole, Jadyn...soon, we love you... hang in there, we're bringing Milana home. Oh and Neu neu is Milana... she answers to that only. It means cute little girl. =0)

Meeting Milana Neu Neu

2009-06-16T05:16:00.000-07:00

First Photo with Mom and Dad
Trying on Mama's shoes!
She ran to Daddy and jumped on his lap for a cuddle.
Such a beautiful cuddly sweetie.
Nika, Kole and Jadyn, there is so many many cuddles coming your way. You are going to have a blast with her. We will see you soon and we love and miss you so. And more photos (for privacy reasons... those won't be on here. )

We meet the most happy, inquisitive, smart little go-girl named Milana today! She is sweet, kind, silly, constantly moving, cuddly, giggly, and already very much warming up to us. She already calls us Daddy, baba, mama, and some other ramblings that I have no idea so she just grabs our faces and turns them towards whatever it is. We've had an amazing day and will tell you all about it soon but are tired so here are some pictures. =0)

Day of Site-seeing

2009-06-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Let the Scooter Races Begin!

DaAn Park from our hotel roof Find Hubby Picture
Happy Little Army Man
Bunnies?! How did you escape Vegas? Oh you wascally wabbits.

The 50 Foot Woman who ate CKS
Oooooooooo
National Concert Hall Flavor
Happy Tired Delirious Sara at Longshan

Hello! This may be a sloppy post. It is 9 pm TW time and we were out all day. We did something a little untraditional and although we saw Chiang Kai Shek, Longshan, etc. we walked about 10 miles...just wandering. We'd hop on the MRT, get off at random stops and if we didn't find what we were looking for.... we went meandering through alleyways. Luckily, my sense of direction was there and I could find north etc. Donnie was so tired and instead of sense of direction... he was lost. He blinded followed me through all sorts of streets. Awww, isn't that trust! So we were going to find a night market, but we are exhausted. we had a taste of it while wandering after 5 pm and people just literally start setting up shop and the city gets busier and faster and more composed chaos of people just going everywhere. They were all so kind and just pleasant. No pushing, yelling, shoving, angry I gotta show you I'm tough looks that you always get in Vegas. We felt very safe and comfortable here. So enjoy the pics... I need sleep now. There is a view from the roof of our hotel (the park) as there is a small cafe up there with the cutest, smiliest, warmest Grandma who cooks you breakfast. The rest is sheer enjoyment and some sillyness. By the way...if you go to Ding Ding Pharmacy... take the taxi unless you are really adventurous during a huge torrential downpour and want to ask 5 people in wanna-be Mandarin where this address is. We did find it.... Donnie's soaked pants and all. Oh and here is a "Find the Husband" picture to keep you busy while you wait for Milana, Dad and Mom pics!

p.s. My exhaustion has gotten to me and I started a little pre-mom of four freak-out... it was more of a... I don't know anything about Milana really and how am I going to know what to feed her, etc. kind of nerves. Sleep will cure this and I'll be on top of my game tomorrow. Ha Ha like how I'm trying to booster myself.

5 AM Mon. Taiwan!

2009-06-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

We're here! Everything I write will be in TW time, easier for me. We arrived last night and at our hotel around midnight. I can't speak highly enough about our EVA pilot. It was the absolute smoothest flight. Everything about it. We left an hour late because they were waiting for a couple passengers, so the pilot caught us up by about 30 min. Nice.

Now the LAS to LAX leg... we left 15 minutes late and arrived 10 minutes early.... for a cost. Pilot got adventurous and turbulent and was seriously zooming. Obviously, we're all good, but at least I know it wasn't just me who was nervous; the guy across from us had white knuckles from gripping the armrest!

Loved seeing the lights on the boats in the ocean as we came in at night to land. Airport was easy and laid out well. Very friendly immigration lady said, "Why are you coming here for vacation? Vegas is vacation enough!" Taxi's are easy to take and we were in a new car with leather. I swear it was a Toyota Camry... hubby said it was a Ford. We won't know because we forgot to look again before getting out. Drive spoke a little English (little). So far no crazy drivers as people have said. He obeyed all the rules and then some... way more then most Vegas drivers.

Hotel is great! I am very pleased and it even has a few nice surprises like a little individually wrapped loofah puff. When we arrived, the front desk woman looked at us incredulously and stuttered out, "You read Chinese?" Our papers we handed her for check in were all in Chinese. "No, but we do okay with computer." It would take to long to explain that reserving reservations online took two hours of copying a pasting into Babelfish!

Today, we explore! Can't wait to get out and wander. The only thing that is bummy the most is how much I miss my Nika, Kole, and Jadyn. You guys are taking mommy and daddy leaving like champs! I am so impressed with how well you adjusted. Thank you Uncle Aaron, Auntie Rakel, and Gran-mas for watching over them for us. Continue to have fun you silly kids and, yes, we really will bring home Milana for you.... and lots of hugs (Kole asked for two big hugs from Dad and then two big hugs from Mom).... we'll smoother you all with love and dogpiles soon. All our love, Mom and Dad.

Tip: Magic Jack is awesome! We brought a Magic Jack to call home with and it is great. It makes free calls to the U.S. and Canada and you plug it into the USB of your laptop.

Pictures to follow after we explore. Donnie...quit snoozing already, I'm all ready to hoof it .... there has to be stuff to do here at 5 am right!?

WE'RE FINALLY IN TAIWAN BABY! WE MADE IT! Tomorrow, at 7 p.m. your time Monday, we will be actually holding Milana.... whew... I'm in "labor" and it makes your head feel like you're on tilt a whirl. It's still very surreal ... until every now and then you get rushes of something taking your breathe away as you realize the gravity of it all. Mom and Dad are on their way to you, Milana. Many kisses and hugs await and so much more.

1 More Day and On the Road!

2009-06-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hello! Yes, I am alive and well. Finally. I had a cold... a meaty one and now finally I am feeling better. Thank goodness. I was quite worried about leaving and being sick and not able to care for Milana but just in the nick of time, I'm better. My sister paid for a massage for me today and wow... maybe my cold was mostly stress! ha ha I've never left any of my children before so that has been weighing on my mind heavily.

It was one of those, "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" moments. I did have nice things to say but alot of complaints about being sickly. The kids are getting over their colds nicely as well. I am finally packed and finally have all our last travel details last night, like when to meet for the train to Tainan.

So now... after all is taken care of, I can stop being robot girl, taking care of everything and just get excited and enjoy the road. Here we go... it was so nice today filling out Milana's paperwork for her doctor's appointments when we get back and when they asked "relationship to patient".... I wrote MOTHER!!!

One Year Anniversary

2009-06-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

well... this post accidentally disappeared. It was about One year ago on this day, our daughter's picture was made known to us as our little Hsiu-Yu. And now soon she will be in our arms. We will soon have our meeting day as parents and child and soon with Nika, Kole, and Jadyn, a family forever. =0) We love you, Milana Lee Hsiu-Yu.

I had called my mother to ask her if she knew what day it was and she said "yes" sadly. I asked why are you so sad. Her reply, because it is D-Day. So I must say, to all those who stood for freedom 65 years ago, thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you.

9 more days until

2009-06-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Plane Day!!! Okay who else felt like they were going to faint,? Seriously? Smelling Salts! Single digits... aggggghhhhh Don't forget to scroll down to the next post and view the monkeys' videos.

Back to messing with blog

2009-06-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hey, if anything is missing, I messed with my blog again. Don't ask why, other than I must be a glutten for punishment sometimes. If you notice your blog is missing from my side bar... I didn't delete ya!

Hey I actually think I may be on to something with putting videos on this crazy blog... I'm going to try one of the kids grooving (a year and a half ago).

Kole rocks those eyebrows to Def Leppard.

Nika at a Hananah Montana Concert with her cousins

Jadyn's turn to rock out

Preparing and more

2009-05-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

Soon.

A very sweet gift from a very thoughtful friend. Thank you, Sarah K.

Congratulations Kole and Nika! Kole just had his preschool graduation and I can not even explain his cuteness during the program... I have to figure out my video software. Nika has just a few more days and she has graduated 3rd grade! Jadyn, she is graduating 3 and wants to be off and running at school already. Funny thing I forgot to mention: Kole's school did mother's day fun and they made portraits of their mother and wrote something about them. One of his school mates wrote... "My mother loves vegetables and alcohol." Alcohol?!@

Well, quick run down. 13 days to go... I'm silly, I count a day ahead (tomorrow) and then leave off Saturday when I leave because I'm going to have to drug myself to get any sleep that night. Too excited. In fact, I'm worse then the kids when it comes to Disneyland and family vacations (go to sleep at 11 or so... eyes just open at 4 am... or worse I am up every hour & then squeezing my eyes trying to pretend to sleep for hours.)

So we know when we are leaving, have tickets for coming back home... hoping all goes well and we can come home as scheduled... praying everything is in order. Hey, at least if something happens... Milana is ours and we'll be together with each other while enjoying ourselves in TW.

Now, we have a little surprise joy; we were offered to Skype with Milana right before we leave. How cool is that!? At first I was terrified... what in the world am I going to say... then it hit me... I never ever run out of things to say! ha ha We'll have a translator and my family is out here for a graduation so one great part... my mom can meet her too and my sister and her children. For the others, I'm video taping it... unless someone knows of a way to tape it on Skype? Anybody? I learned a song in Mandarin... hopefully, I'm brave enough to sing it. I'm going to have a friend check my words first... still trying to prefect some though.

Next, I have been making taxi cards... what else. I have some to restaurants that are fairly American comfort foods and I will post them later this week... sorry that list will be long. If I can figure out a document to download, I will otherwise... get ready for the boom.

Ha ha... I think I've been reading alot of Chinese English because I did spell check and "surprise" came out "supise"... I never leave out "r"s (what English speaking American can't be harsh on those bad-daddies) That's what happens when you scourer the net for travel tidbits.

And lastly, to my waiting friends... may your heart find some comfort and your worries cease and may your little blessings be home in your arms soon. I still feel your pain, I do.

20 Days and I love Picture Software

2009-05-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

20 Days until the day of lift off! Woohoo! I have nerves... so many nerves... who wouldn't?! Very surreal. WOW. Ok... now who knows about bottled water? Can I take it on the plane? Do you have to buy it in the airport or can I pack unopened bottles in my carry-on? Does it need to be packed inside the luggage instead? Anyone ever had something explode that they packed all over the inside of the their suitcase?

Husband loaded the PICTURE SOFTWARE! Yippee! Well, he built this new fancy pc and I haven't figured out the magic of plug in your item and the pc finds and downloads all software for you... so I had to wait for him to do it. But you guys finally get more pics & me! I Next I have to load my cd's of pics so my family can be on the blog again.... darn html.

Some of my silly family! Siblings: 4, Nieces and nephews: 4 (one is hiding on her mom) My Mama, my brother in law and my husband and children.

Finally posting pictures of the egg hunt!

Nika had to work for that egg. Great spot Grandpa!

Kole's expressions are just so cute and funny.

The egg hunt excursions' results.

This is the way everyone watches TV right?

Don't tell her that she has piggies. Shhhhhh And she says she's Rainbow Bright today.

Odd strange dead bug we found out back.

Burial for said bug.

WOOHOO! Congratulations to "A"! My niece is Graduating this year!

Nika took this picture of me. Sorry not right after I recently cut and dyed the hair but oh well. =0)

Make it a great day!

Tidbits

2009-05-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

Oops... just realized that I might have given the impression that I'm going to drag Milana everywhere whether she's screaming or not. Actually... that Formosa Land would be just for me (I've never grown up). hee hee Don't worry... all good. If I have to get meals at 711 and snack all day at the park to keep Milana happy, will do. =0)

Kole, Jadyn and Nika were allowed to blow bubbles all over the yard the other day (you know the multi-packs for weddings... yeah). Well, by the time I said ENOUGH: Jadyn drank the bubbles and was spitting and foaming at the mouth, Nika was super super sticky (mostly her hands... she is never really messy) and Kole had somehow spilled the bubbles down his pants!@? So he took off his pants and I find him outside buck naked! What?! Yeah, you can see why there are no pictures! There were bubbles spilled all over the concrete and I still haven't sprayed it off... still trying how to tactfully do it without making an even bigger mess.

So I have Jadyn crying and screaming about the bad tasting bubbles which are foaming all over the place and in her hair and Kole running around screaming bubbles in my pants! Nika is just saying MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM! HEEEELLLLLPPP! All I was doing was the laundry and in two seconds... Bubble Madness!

Oh and when I post more stuff soon about travel stuff.... I'm just an overprepared kind of person and like to cover all bases and what-if's. Plus I think after waiting a year, I've gathered enough ideas to share with future travellers. Please don't worry; I really won't torture Milana with too much... I'm a stay at home mom... I can handle staring at the same wall for a week. ha ha

Found the Museum

2009-05-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

Eslite ... oooooooh WOW! Okay, we HAVE to go to this Children's Museum and then bookstores and boutiques for kids in the same area. I'm going to have so much fun playing... hopefully Milana will too. Definitely heading to the zoo and taking pics of Milana at different landmarks (of course probably some of my own ideas of landmarks too). Thanks for the ideas.

Determined to find this smile kid learning store. I want to find bilingual books too. Official Website and here's a map

Activities Guide ... would LOVE to go to Formosa Wonder Land... but probably not going to happen. Also wanted to soak up some Peitou. The hardest part is going to be narrowing things down... See, it should not have taken this long to get travel because now I've been looking for so long and so many people have given me great ideas that I have too much itinerary. Don't get me started on what I would love to do in areas besides Taipei.... I'd need a month.

If anyone knows about some Dragon Boat Festival fun, let me know. I know they celebrate it at different times and we will be there the week before June 27, 2009!... official Dragon Boat day this year.

Booked Tickets!

2009-05-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Milana Monkey! You fit right in with all my other monkeys!

Milana, I love Cream too.

Alright! Thanks everyone for your kind words. A sweet friend of mine said I sounded like I was an Oscar winner giving a speech. hee hee I'm not even sure I remember what I wrote.

Okay so here is the travel-low-down. 13th Leave America! 14th arrive nice and stinky and sleepy. 15th survive Jetlag and the 16th Meet Milana! 17th AIT... 18th free day. 19th pickup Visa and then fly home. AIT closes for Tues. and Thursday for some summer hours it seems so we have an extra day that I didn't count on with Milana in TW for site-seeing. Any ideas of fun things to do with kiddos, let me know.

Also booked the hotel in Chinese last night. Took two hours to translate but all good now! It was very funny imaging how many people try to book their hotels online in a language and characters that they can't decipher. Yes, I could have gone to an online booking company that writes in English but hey, why not go the adventurous route and see what happens.? Just kidding, the real reason was I wanted a specific room and could only be absolutely sure I booked it through the website. Every broker we went to only made it seem like we would only get a double size bed... uh no, we want the king.

We are staying at the Dolamanco. Never heard of it... yeah me neither but I like it! I found it about 8 months ago and kept on eye on it. It used to have reservations in English so I had already made an account with them with a log in etc. Good thing too because no more English for me after a few months.

This hotel is small, about 30 rooms and across from a giant park. It doesn't cost much at all but is considered in the mid-range price on all the websites. We'll let you all know how it goes and if anyone wanting to save some moolah can benefit. Also, we're from Vegas, the land of excessive amenities and some of the best hotels in the world... we just need a room and to bring our daughter home. Shoot, compared to those hospital rooms where I first met my other children... this place is a mansion. Oh, and it is on the same road as AIT about a block away... with my over planning self... I have to make our AIT appt., rain, typhoon, or bad Taiwan traffic!

Next comes more packing. I have quite the list of things that I've been packing away. I'm really good at organizing though and bringing essentials (ok and a few pieces of the kitchen sink). I'll post a rough draft for you all later... so you can tell me what I've left out or you can have a list for yourself. =0)

Happy Day!

Invitation to Travel and Introducing Milana! Finally!

2009-05-11T23:46:00.000-07:00

This is our precious Milana Lee Hsiu Yu... making her marvelous debut into our world on ...
TUESDAY, JUNE 16th!!! AIT will greet us on WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17th and all our family will be together on FRIDAY, JUNE 19th 2009 (late after flying in reverse time zone wise)!!! We WILL have Milana in our arms!

Join me, will you, in feeling the amazing rush of "FINALLY"! I checked the email.
Started screaming, WE HAVE TRAVEL across the house. Rush of adrenalin, excitement, and blabbering. Here we had an email asking to confirm dates and instead of just immediately replying yes, we virtually sat blabbering about travel until we realized... do that later! Just email the biggest fattest YES ever!

Then came... let's celebrate and get food... too much happiness and all... I got nauseous... what?! Nauseous? Who gets nauseous when they hear good news? I guess I do. Then I had to lie down and breathe. Goodness I seem so weak! Nika seemed stunned and just kept following me around like a sheep. She had that Pongo look from 101 Dalmations where he just had 15 puppies. I'll have to have an age appropriate celebration for her tomorrow and what I mean by that is not watching her mommy go into crazy emotion happy buzz where she is just oblivious to all going on around her. Oh you want to dump my favorite plant in the garbage, go ahead. Oh you want to flush Star Wars toys down the toilet and pretend they are in a black hole, how nice. J/j that didn't happen but it could have.

I can't believe we are ACTUALLY GOING! FOR REAL! I just keep smiling and laughing and shaking my head. My husband and I feel so happy and relieved. Just wait until the kids really get it tomorrow! Okay I need some brownies or mint ice cream or something (yeah it's 11 o'clock at night). After 1 year and 10 days... we will have Milana in our arms! AAAHHHHH

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? Oh and I have to do a speech of some kind and say thank you to all the people that had the utmost patience with me as we waited. I can never express my gratitude for all your uplifting words and encouragement when I was very low. Thank you... you never know just how much your words carried me. I have to thank FEC and SLC for struggling and plunking away at this hard case but never giving up and making this a success. To my waiting friends... come along with me... I have room in my suitcases... we can just forgo clothes right? It's for the good of our babies! just joking... about forgoing clothes that is... I really want you to come.

MY little Milana is coming home, OUR little Milana is coming home.

Please enjoy a few pictures I have received over the past year, and smile and cry along with me and thank our Heavenly Father for a most precious angel indeed.

Milana scoping out her family for the first time.
Our First Glimpse of Milana. About 13 months old.
Milana about 18 months old wearing the outfit we sent her and the book of family photos... she looks like she is very inquistively asking, "Now what do I do with this?" Daddy thinks and keeps teasing me that she will love pop tarts... I don't like pop tarts. He's usually right on things like that though.
Milana and her first update photo... so cute in her styling matching hat, shirt and capris that the foster family dressed her in! They have cute fashion taste... nice! about 17 months
Milana visiting the orphanage complete with locks that scared me at first... I thought she had curly hair and I don't have any children with curly hair. I was certain I would screw her hair up. Then I realized it had to be curled... wait a minute... those are extensions! Milana... you so ROCK that look! She was 22 months in this picture.
And we get to love on you in one month... see you soon, Love Mommy, Daddy, Nika, Kole, and Jadyn. AH HA... I CAN SAY SOON AND MEAN IT!

Crossing Over Into An Asian World

2009-05-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

I am Caucasian. I have lived in many multi-ethnic areas and been immersed in many cultures other than Caucasian. That still does not take away that I "live in a Caucasian World." People look at me and see a white girl. That is an automatic first impression and with it comes stereotypes. I try to erase and blur some of those lines, but it is often not a possibility.

First, understand that I have no problem being Caucasian and it is a gift to be what/who you are and comfortable in your own skin. I love my heritage and all my ancestors have done to allow me the privileges I have (having struggled to immigrate to America). Second, I will never completely understand my daughter's role as an Asian American with a family background of Caucasian and Asian. American... Yes. Asian ... no... not completely. Learn all I can about the culture and beliefs of such a rich history, ethnicity and soulful world, I will do. Teach great values and principles that mirror both American and Asian cultures I can, but walk into a room and be Asian... I can not. That is something she does without me; thankfully she does not do it alone as she will have a whole community of Asian Americans with her doing it everyday in America facing, challenging and breaking down bad stereotypes and building up solid good images. I want to teach all my children to break down walls and barriers. I want them to fully embrace everything about themselves and this world that is lovely and praiseworthy.

Why am I speaking about this. NW Asian Weekly This is a story about one of my favorite shows that is being made into a Movie called The Last Airbender. I love this show. I am disappointed that the cast was not chosen as Asian Americans. Aang Aint White I posted this comment...

"This show oozes Asian flare, from the characters to the culture and beliefs. I've seen every episode with my 4 children and husband. We converted the children to it as well as slyly had our adult friends become hooked as well. I was disappointed and confused when Asian actors were not chosen. Asian American or otherwise, my expectations were to have certain facial traits depicted that quite frankly most often only Asian people have. My daughter often pretends to be Katara, even though her stark blond hair, fair skin and light blue lagoon colored eyes are quite the give away that she is not Inuit. I won't take her pretend play away but I would not have her cast as Katara in a major motion picture either. I have a beautiful Asian daughter with fair skin, dark brownish-black eyes and hair (and a slight upturned upper lip and gorgeous moon shaped face) as well and I could never imagine having her cast as my Caucasian child if a movie was made about our lives as my ethnicity is Caucasian. Can you imagine a Viking not played as a big old Scandinavian brute? To blatantly ignore my daughter's beautiful Chinese features in a movie depicting her life would be appalling, the same as ignoring the ethnic makeup of the characters of Avatar.I understand "modern" movies having role variations of ethnicities, but in a movie that clearly accentuates Asian culture in every aspect, it is wrong to take away something that represents Asian culture at her best, Her People. Asian actors need more representation than being cast just for their ethnicity as well, but to go as far as taking Asians out of their own roles is morally indignant. " (Ok, I put 4 children because I mentally think I have all 4 home, so it should be corrected to say 3 at home but oh well).

Which brings me to this ... Angry Asian Man. I have been reading, keeping an eye on how it "feels" to be Asian American. Imagining what my daughter would feel like everyday while I run around slightly oblivious in my "white world". Of course I am not oblivious, and expect comments and can handle them tactfully, but I can't take for granted some of the "comforts" I've been allotted having "white skin". I just want to make sure that I don't "have a wake up call one day" that knocks me out. I want to make sure that I stay aware of any issue that could face any of my children at all times.

I needed to rant a moment about my favorite show and disappointment over not seeing positive Asian American role model characters to share with my children besides the cartoon characters. I needed a release from remaining mum on a subject that many consider "taboo". I do think that the actors that were chosen more than likely can play the roles quite well; but I know there are quite a few Asian Americans who could also have filled those roles and made a positive contribution to the view of movies cast with a majority of Caucasians as lead roles. Caucasians no need to get your panties in a bunch either... I still love ya'll too. We can share. =0)

One good step forward. Disney is finally creating a movie for African American Princesses everywhere, The Frog Princess. Let's hope this movie really does move us forward. The Frog Princess

We are all one world and all neighbors of one big community... I just hope that one day, this world can play fair in this big old sandbox called Earth.

Standing Ovation for Mommas!

2009-05-10T08:21:00.001-07:00

Whoop Whoop it up for all those mommies, honorary mommies, birthmommies, Grandmommies, Godmommies, Fairy Godmommies in our precious children's minds, foster mommies, Step-mommies, soon to be mommies and anyone who has ever been a mother figure to anyone EVER! You all make this world a much more beautiful brighter place to be. I love mommies of all kind... maybe because of my awesome mother who you have no idea how awesome she really is. She's the kind that Oprah should have as mother of the decade.

For those of you waiting to become mommy... I honor you and hope your dreams come true.
For those of you who cannot be with their birthchildren for one reason or another, I honor you and remember you everyday.
For those of you who take the time to be there for a child, I honor you and know you are a hero.
For all those waiting for a mommy, my heart is with you and may you one day be wrapped in that love.
Much love to all those mommies out there... one of God's greatest creatures ever made.

Adoption news: Tentative dates are mid-June. I'm not posting about the exact days because they aren't for sure and a bit untypical, but I'll take anyday to travel at all! The hold up is... dun, dun, dun dun (drum roll) ... paperwork! ha ha I'm so not kidding you. After a year of waiting June 6th... I swear... this is one very unique journey with it's very own blend of special spicy something every now and then. Ok this paperwork isn't one that is in the hands of myself, FEC, SLC or even the courts.... just papers that are needed to make that all encompassing AIT appt. & will hopefully, prayerfully and with much pleading and begging arrive soon to SLC as in tomorrow. No direct confirmation of final so I guess I can't plaster my mom's day post with Milana pics. I am so restraining myself right now.

Thank you Judy and Sarah K., those thoughtful surprises helped make the waiting a bit sweeter. I wore the necklace all day and it's going to be worn today at church. It is a beautiful handmade necklace with mother-of-pearl circles. Each circle has my children's birthstones, names in English and names in Traditional Characters. A beautiful silver pendant swirls around an Asian bead that looks like a tree branches hugging it's treasure and little birthstone drip from it's branch. Lovin it! Thank you Sarah for your thoughtful gifts & letters for my family as they helped me remain hopeful and cheery. Perfect gifts especially for right now. Thank you.

Kole can read?!

2009-05-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

Kole has started running, but it hasn't been a slow turtle race. No. He is giving Usain Bolt a run for his reading money. I can't believe how fast this little guy is absorbing this challenge. We started off noticing him reading as we drive by Sub shops and pizza places, etc. Next came the street names, which are not easy for half the adults here (Decatur... give it a try). So we have always let him read some words as we read his bedtime stories. Now he is reading them to us! He can read big words like Rainbow, Excited, LiftMaster (garage door opener)... that was last night; he was in the garage and asked how long we've had the liftmaster! ha ha

So I wanted to see his level of reading... I just have been thinking, "Where are you boy and how am I going to know where to start to challenge you this summer?" So I pulled out an old Ginn systems reading book I had in second grade and had him read about 3 pages. I only needed to help him with one to two words per page. What? I'm in awe, in shock and can't help but giggle with amazement. Where did this come from? I have no clue. I wouldn't give me the credit at all; he has somehow pulled off what is so difficult for so many people in the world before reaching kindergarten.

I am just reeling at this revelation and I can't figure out where to go... I'm not a teacher so I don't know the level signs of what to look for. Since he can read and write and acknowledge all numbers etc... how do I keep him challenged, not bored but not overly exerted with his brain power/ I'm at a lost and still in awe by this little guy.

I am in awe of all my children for all their separate talents... you all amaze me at so many different levels and points in your lives. So if you read this when you are older, don't think for one second that I haven't had so many points of amazement's in each of your lives. You are all uniquely amazing and I promise you ALL shock me everyday! ha ha

p.s. In case you are wondering about pictures... hubby built a new pc and we haven't loaded my camera software as well as any old pictures we have... so I am shorted a 1000 words per pic. Bummer.

edit: Kole was in church with Grandma and the teacher was reading and he called her out... "That's not what it says." She was so surprised and of course had to run to Grandma and ask if he can read. Yup... looks like editing stories is gone out the window and now comes the days of stopping mid-story to explain why or why not we do or do not do these things. hee hee

Messed with HTML

2009-05-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yup, now my stuff is fritzo. My sister said she couldn't read the blog with the pink and in my attempt to make it a little lighter... we'll just say I messed up. Hopefully, I can find everyone's blogs again. Hopefully, I don't make my blog vamoose.

"You are the best Mommy I Never Had."

2009-05-05T06:13:00.001-07:00

Thank you Kole.

Said with Love from my little guy every night. Now Jadyn says it. Nika used to say, My Mommy every night and squeeze the crud outta my head. Ah I love those times. Right now, Kole is hysterically laughing in his sleep... now I can hear him talking away. Even when I have "alone" time, I love feeling their prescence. Just a joyful moment.

Oh and Jadyn has a temper and her favorite saying now when she cools off is, "Mommy, I sorry, I won't never ever ever get mad at you again, only bad guys get mad at, not good guys."

Okay, this hysterical dream was too good to miss... funny man. I went up there and he woke up from his funny dream and told me about it. Something about a man who burned his head and then threw his hands up like "oh well" and walked into the place that burned him.?!@ What???? I guess I just had to be there... I think it went something like along the lines of Charlie Chaplin. Silly silly.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy to my littlest monkey!

2009-05-03T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hi Milana... Happy Birthday sweetie. I hope you had a great day on your second birthday. It's great being two and I'm so very thankful we get to share that year with you soon. I can't wait to meet you and get to know that bubbly little personality I see glimpses of in your pictures. I'm excited to see and her your voice and laughter and to be there for your tears & tantrums. I can only imagine what adventures you will bring to our home. Your whole family is so very eager to celebrate your Homecoming soon. May you have sweet dreams and make a few more wonderful memories with your foster family. We love you. Love Mom, Dad, Nika, Kole and Jadyn & all the extended family you could ever ask for, who all love you dearly. =0)

A week ago was Milana's 2nd birthday. We sang her Happy Birthday and Nika made her a great card. We were going to have a little party but since we found out she'll be home soon, we'll have a low-key little sing-fest when she gets here (that won't be too much for her because we sing all the time & kinda party it up each day with the monkeys). So we will all get a little birthday fun coming along shortly.

Adoption news... well nothing so far. I know our agency is contacting SLC each day about travel dates for us so we will report when we have something. 14 days since first part of final.... good thing I was super busy these last two weeks because I think I would be losing my mind worse than I am now!

I am asking that people give me pointers on international travel. My husband has done it, but I have only gone to Canada which counts as international but very much feels like home at the same time... so I need ideas of any random thought that comes to mind that you would have liked to have known when you travelled.

EEEKEKKK! Are we almost there yet!? Get your spatulas ready to pry me off the ceiling!

Finally! First Part of the Final!

2009-04-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Milana Is Coming Home!!!!!!

This is her sweet hospital photo that was xerox'd with her referral.

Hello? You all can get up off the floor. Of course I haven't picked myself up yet either! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH Just have to scream it out. I check my email a few times each day... it's been habit for years now and even more so in the last 10.5 months since referral.

I was on the phone with my husband when I cut him off and said, "Love. There is an email in the inbox and it says Great News!!!" I started shaking terribly.

"What does it say?"

"I haven't opened it... I can't."

"Open it Woman."

"But I can't handle it if it's not it."

But it was!!!

We were notified by SLC that we've received the first part of our final decree from our judge. SLC will set a travel date for us as soon as they receive the second part of the final decree documents from the court!!! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS! It is still not feeling REAL. How can words express emotions for something so huge that your head & heart feel like they will burst?

I called a few friends yesterday and let them know (I'm so sorry if I forgot anyone because I really am a basketcase right now!) ... I fairly fainted talking to one of them, probably from irregular breathing.... who knows... all I know is everyone keeps telling me it's real... that she is really coming home.

I don't know if I can post recent pictures of her yet until we get that last part of the final.... so I posted her year old picture since she is almost 2 and looks quite different.

I went to Nika's school at lunch and had to tell her right away. Milana also made my sister's newly applied mascara to run down her face when she heard the news. This IS TOTALLY WICKED AWESOME! Yes, you can imagine wierd surfer accents or whatever... I'm just beyond thrilled. 10 and a half months... a week before Milana's second birthday and we know she really is our's and will come home soon to join our family and enrich all our lives.

Oh we think we may travel in early June (AIT has summer vacation days scheduled in May so short-staffed) When we pick her up, it'll be a total of a year... and I am so excited to have many, many years with her I'll let you all know more when we get INFO! FINALLY! Now please excuse me while I go run naked down the streets. ;0)

P.S. Sarah K... I'm waiting... I need your Great News now. =0)

P.S.S. I really have to thank SLC and FEC for working so diligently to get this done... we actually got court done in a week from the paper submitting of last week. Once all the ducks were finally in a row... thank Heavens. After trying and trying to get court rolling for about 6 months... I can't say done though... I've grown superstitious of counting chickens before they hatch!

Happy Birthdays! Nika & Sara (hey that's me)

2009-04-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Just so cute!

Kole's lifelong dream to meet a Storm Trooper... this was at a movie theatre.

Nika's elusive camera (read further down)

This is my unscripted Nika, something you rarely see as she automatically can't help but pose when she sees a camera... this is my true joyful beautiful child.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy Nika and Me! Nika and I share the same birthday... one of those coincidences in life that make it all the more fun. We had our birthday a couple weeks ago... I wasn't putting it off the post though; story goes: went on vacation to Arizona and forgot my camera, luckily we bought Nika one for her birthday, used that camera all week and now, can't find the camera with all the birthday and vacation photos. Bummer. I don't know what's worse, knowing you can't have photos or remembering the ones you took and lost.

But we did have a fantastic time. Donnie took some with his cell phone so that explains the grainy pics. What we did to celebrate... besides brownies, strawberry pie & cupcakes... indoor amusements park (basically Chuckie Cheese on some serious Rock Star or amp'd or Red Bull... mad lib energy drink), bowling, family fun with my siblings and cousins... lots of those very fun entertaining little people, some car sickness, massage, I got my hair cut & dyed and had a great photo for ya... on the lost camera.

To my Nika... you are a sweet darling one of a kind. You have such exquisite depth and talent... you amaze me everyday. I could never ask for another birthday gift after you were born... it's so fulfilling to watch you go through life and learn. You have such grace and poise as well as one crazy ham! I love every minute of our 9 years together... even when you tell me I'm wrong (Sara's never wrong silly ;0)... or that I have a big butt. You have so much potential, a super strong moral compass, and I know that with every growing moment you just become more prepared to Rock This World with your awesomeness. Just remember to always slow down and be a kid every once in a while... You're never too old to still be my baby Chou Chou forever... I love you Bugbug. Love, Momma.

For Nika

Hmm...I had all these plans for this post, but something came up... wonder what it was... until then... I live by music. I love it. Any kind... all kinds. Give me classic, jazz, rap, punk, funk, rock, pop, hip-hop, Broadway shows, muscials, country, other languages... kids shows... you name I adore it, any and all. So just fun stuff for me:
Supersitition

Don't Fence Me In

Smooth

BOB
Outkast ...seriously fun hiphop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XBgXBvI8a0
Shakira http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAlTlcXGGe4
This Shakira one I used to sing at the top of my lungs alone in my room in high school.

If you're still with me, there is more to come... hang in there. ;0)

ooo... I tried adding some punk put we are having technical difficulties =0)

Hot Pockets & fun stuff

2009-04-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

You will only get this if you've ever encountered a hot pocket.

Kole was reading a Children's First Bible the other day sounding out words, he got to Shepherds and quickly decided, hey I know that word, it's Shephertists! Ha ha He knows about the Separatists on Star Wars and decided that the "Shephertists" were following the star to come see baby Jesus. I can only imagine what ideas were going through his head at that moment. I miss being a kid.

Ringtones, Guilty and Thoughts

2009-04-14T13:25:00.001-07:00

What is your ringtone that your husband has picked out for you? My husband has decided mine is Darth Vader. It does make me laugh, although I can't figure out if it's to make others laugh or whether he actually uses it to forewarn himself!

Guilty confession time: When I was living at my brother and sister-in-law's house when I was 18, I loved to go into her bathroom and eat tons of vitamin C she had in a giant bottle under her sink cabinet. Only problem, I ate so many that it started to burn a hole in my tongue and I couldn't eat or taste anything for days. So I am apologizing to you Sara for eating your giagantic bottle of Vitamin C that were soooo yummy.

Only reason I remembered this is my husband just bought two giant bottles of vitamin C... I'm trying not to be tempted again.

Jadyn has me help her in the restroom. The other day she yelled at me that she was not a "Pooh-non-ear." Pooh-non-ear?! What in the world is that? Well turns out she thinks "Please get up on here" is "Please get Pooh-non-ear. "

I think I may have a small variation of dyslexia. I know that dyslexia is a serious disorder and people should not be belittled for suffering with difficulties from it. Having said that, my confusion with words can be quite entertaining and luckily my husband and I have a sense of humor. My words are often flipped in normal conversations, like adopted and orphaned was joined to make adorphaned. I check my cash instead of cash my check. As a child, I wrote things quite phonetically but far from correct.

I rarely hear things correctly the first time people say things, which can result in my staring confused at people saying "what" or I just start giggling. Numbers can elude me. I somehow managed a 4.0 gpa in High School, which still makes me scratch my head. I made it my goal in life to memorize every rule when the brain fog would set in. I actually almost flunked kindergarten! I struggled and worked so hard to become "normal" that when I actually surpassed "normal" and the school wanted me to skip a grade and go into the gifted and talented section, I flipped out. No way was I going to stand out! Growing up in the ghetto, people who stood out were sitting ducks. Now I have no problem being the odd duck.

When I speak on the phone with Sarah K, she usually says nothing and dismisses my word mistakes, but she always hears my husband snickering in the background. She tells him he's not supposed to say anything. I just laugh. Sometimes when something comes out of my mouth and it's blarringly wrong, I freeze and look around to see if anyone has noticed. Hubby always does & we can't help but laugh. It's very odd to have a photographic memory and excellent organizational skills, but my words just can't come out correctly at times.

I never have had a formal diagnosis for any delays and I don't need one because I learned to function with whatever it is just fine and I'm happy. For those who need help, get it; I think I would have loved not having to hide it and struggle in silence. My sisters told my husband on my wedding day that even though I acted ditsy, I really was smart so don't let me "fool him". Truth is... I am ditsy and smart... you can be both.

I never suffered from being teased from my spoken words; I don't think anyone should be teased for their supposed disabilites... I actually think disabilities are a challenge, something that is our very own life puzzle. My son works on speech therapy and some sensory issues. I believe he has a talent that is undiscovered lying deep in these supposed hinderances that will become great assets to him some day. I chose to turn my slight dyslexia into a little bit of a comic relief for myself. It also made me very determined and quite a spitfire. We all have something. I hope whatever hinderances each of you have can be seen as something more grand. Good luck on your puzzle. May your talents be with you. ;0) Big Miss Piggy "Mwhaaa"

Brief Redirect

2009-04-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY Okay so maybe I need a reality check and this woman just knocked my socks off. Reality check is, I have so much to be thankful for... just needed something beautiful and someone's dream to come true before my eyes to see what I have.

Fun Sucker

2009-04-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, not completely back. I realized I am a fun sucker. I have sucked the fun right out of a few things including my posts. I'm trying to get back to normal but with things so rattled right now... I just feel like a funsucker.... just sucking the fun outta everything. Good news is my paperwork that was needed just got to TW... now what?... I don't know. What I want? The judge to get the papers quickly and say okie dokie and sign off a pretty little paper called final... tomorrow is good for me. I'm getting this out before the birthday post for Nika and myself.... no fun sucking on birthdays! Sorry to everyone who has had to endure this fun-suckage lately.

I'm back!

2009-04-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Back from AZ and back to say HELLO!!!

Tisra has her very important first step done for her adoption in India! Tisra, how awesome is this! You and I talked about everything involved with waiting and the nerves & look!!! Hello, quickly! I'm excited for both of your journeys! And there is always great news in bunches! Courtney's big news of her little girl & Jennifer's darling little man have made their presence known in this corner of the world and I am so happy to hear of all this great news! Courtney, you have ridden the roller coaster with me for so long and I am so happy that you now know whom it is for. whew! And Jennifer, I am so excited that your little one will become a big sister (and to such a darling little guy is a huge bonus ;0). I hope I am not missing anyone, I went on vacation and now I'm back.

Well, we went on vacation, which was good because of paperwork mess and getting my mind off of it all. The papers are now on their way back to Taiwan... on to Tainan and on to court... I need some seriously good thoughts sent this way that this will finally be it. That we will finally after 10 months know that we are on our way. I need the judge to finalize... so very badly; I need no more stumbling blocks... I really am at my wits end. My husband and I know that this has to happen now. I need to bring Milana home now; it is time. The papers reach Taiwan on Monday.... I'm on my knees.

So... after tomorrow, we will post about Nika and my birthdays that past because not only are we having Easter tomorrow, but a little party for Nika-chou where her big present that couldn't come along to our Arizona vacation will be revealed...hee hee. I am now 30! Nika is 9 and Milana will be 2 ... she's next! One great highlight.... I got a surprise massage for my birthday!! I am also over my sinus infection... which was hilarious to go to a massage therapist all stuffy and have her do acupressure on my sinuses! Hello tissue. Also Nika is over her ear-infection and I can't wait to post pictures. I forgot my camera at home but luckily we bought Nika a little one for her birthday so we do have some from our trip... I just don't know how to hook it up to the pc yet... but I will figure it out. I can't forget my sister's and my bro-in-law's b-days are this last week too... Happy birthday!!!! I also have a few nieces and nephews that had birthdays as well so Happy Happy Birthday all around!

So I know I missed a lot of life's adventures from everyone while making some of my own, so feel free to leave news of things. It's good to feel refreshed and off I go to finish unpacking my mess! =0) Sorry I was MIA for a bit, but it was out of necessity to keep my mind off of the fact that paperwork was technically in my hands... again.

Quick Tidbits & count down freeze

2009-03-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Alright we'll get to the count down freeze... one of which I can't really talk about yet, but we'll say it involves a certain judge requiring more paperchase from us and we'll see how it all pans out. My waiting friends, I will tell you as soon as I can and you will have time to make adjustments if necessary to your paperwork. I know, I'm talking in code, but I have to make sure I get through this adoption. So off to life now.

Our family hasn't gotten a break from the sick bug. Poor Nika went in today for an ear infection and a cold going a little bit into her lungs. Up all night with my little one, with a cold myself (which I'd take a thousand times over watching Nika cry in pain until the pain killer kicks in, just trying to make it to morning to go to urgent care). Jadyn and Kole seem to be hanging tough & I'm knocking on serious wood, but I think they passed this cold. Donnie is a different story. Oy.

But... good news ha ha... I actually have some! Nika has chosen to join our church and be baptized, very special. I have some pictures I'll post later from this weekend. Family came out for Nika's baptism and we got to hang out. It was 3 sisters, a brother, a few nieces and a brother in law. That's always fun. Luckily Nika's sickness didn't pop up until last night so she did get to enjoy the visit. I wasn't going to post pics with the family, but since I think one sister was making fun of my blogging and that the pics would show up here... hee hee now I think they are gonna! ;0) Love you chewie.

Nika's, Milana's and my birthday are still to come... hopefully Nika is well by then and nothing else sneaks in. Hopefully this last paperwork issue is the last paperwork issue. Hopefully, we'll be able to make it to vacation in Arizona to visit my family shortly with no problems. And hopefully all my friends are well out there in blogland and adoptionland, since I'm a bit overworked lately. Still hanging tough and hopefully I will have a fun & funny something to share soon.

Two Weeks Down

2009-03-23T12:25:00.001-07:00

Edit!! Ha ha I can't count! I put 74 and it should have been 76~! Except I just noticed today would have been 75 so make 74 tomorrow... ha ha ha Confused yet?

So that means if worst case scenario happens of 90 days past bad news....we have 74 more days to go. Yes, I'm counting days... It's all I have right now. My agency says there is always "hopefully sooner." We just don't know where we are in court, meaning we could have just begun. Back to my waiting corner.

HaPpY BiRthDaY Jadyn and Donnie!

2009-03-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

Jadyn, here is Pucca for you. =0) Jadyn calls this Pucca Hello Kitty

Donnie, just for you ;0) konvexx Donnie has his own music style that I can't replicate. Okay how about some MXC... p.s. Not PG rated. MXC I just put the link, not the video embedded. These game shows make me laugh tears... and then Donnie laughs at me.

And one just for fun (this one is more G rated)

My little chameleon has turned three! Jadyn you are such a little go-getter and you change super heroes like your underpants! You have always made sure that you are never left out, even if it means sitting on us! You are such a happy Jade Dragon and beautiful Jade Bird... you love life every minute & bring such an amazing spice & zing to this family. You were this quiet little child until up to a year old & then bam, you exploded onto the scene like a hummingbird, going a million miles an hour and charming everyone on your way. Your imagination is something to admire and your mommy loves every minute that you pretend with her. Your squeak and laugh are infectious and I am loving every minute that I watch you grow and learn; which you absorb some much silliness & knowledge from your siblings & make a funny twist on it. Thank you for being my little "Just Jadyn" and for giving me the priceless gift of being amazed at your every turn; I can't even imagine what you'll do in life because of your brilliant spontenaity, but I know it will be full of love, passion and charity. I love you forever my Jadyn. Happy birthday and happy pink chocolate Batman cake with blue writing... little Miss Thang!

Ahhh, Donnie's turn! hey, I get to join you in "old" ville this year... 30 eek. Happy 31st love... you know that's not old. I keep telling ya. Besides, you'll never be "old" with a wife like me! =0) The kids pound the silly into you too and I can't tell who wants to buy the toys more, you or the kids. ha ha Since you bought yourself your present.... again, I'm so going to have to surprise you with something neat in Taiwan... that way you won't be able to guess what it is or buy it for yourself. Just need to keep you from smelling it too since that seems to work for you... you strange man. he he I love being your wife, I don't know what's more fun, your sarcasim or the fact that we can laugh at and with each other about everything. Like when you get mad at the toys that you stubbed your foot on and then kick it!@# ha ha You can't pick it up and move it... you have to kick it! ha ha I love being able to dream with you and raise the children with you... you make everything right and make my world go 'round.. Thank you love for all that you do and Happy Birthday Mister.... I love you always.

Introducing Mama's version of a pink chocolate Batman cake.

Monkey in the Box.. hee hee

Daddy all tucked in for a winter's nap, complete with Jadyn's blankie & kitty. awwww

Just ride the ride! Good News!

2009-03-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

"Just heard that the documents we were waiting on have been completed and submitted to the court. The court has what it needs to move forward." AHHHHHHH

Can I say what and hello and OH YEAH! Okay just ride the ride with me because this is on a crazy upswing! I feel like I am back on the Colossus at magic mountain... that thing is wild and scares me so much. I screamed the whole time! Emotion wise... email from agency caused shaking, pacing, jumping emphatically, and all sorts of jumbled happiness. I had hunkered down for a long haul. I even got a compliment of handling this with "grace"! Ha.. me? Grace? I didn't know those two words went in the same sentence... I've always wanted them to, but never thought they would be aimed at me. I thought about not sharing but how torturous for you & for me sitting on happiness. We all need more happiness. Heaven forbid, but if bad news comes again... we'll get through it and good news... I'm counting on you! I finally feel good and excited... nothing else in mother's intuition is saying something is wrong. Full speed ahead, arms up & enjoy the ride! WOOOOO

Our Final Will Not Be Anytime Soon.

2009-03-09T22:36:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post on paper after the children went to sleep. This will be long. Oh and I have permission to post all this info from my agency so no worries there.

I spent an hour & a half on the phone with the director of our agency & it is not good news. Okay about the first 20 minutes on the phone, I just sobbed as she talked. Our agency was notified that there is a birthparent paperwork issue that needs to be worked out. Court has completely halted for now.

I am going to write some of Milana's birthgiver info because I am comfortable sharing and all that comes with it. I understand fully that it is hers, but I also know that it will be ours as she comes home and we discuss this openly with all of our children. Our children will know that there is nothing to be ashamed of and we can talk about and make it through anything. I am sharing so future families know of the risks associated with such cases ahead of time as well as know agencies' hands are fairly tied when papers are in Taiwan.

Our child's birthgivers are in prison and the govt. social worker needs them to sign papers for court. They have already signed relinquishment papers; this is something else that either the judge, clerk, or SLC needs to submit the complete package for the adoption to be ruled on. This will take time and there are no guarantees. I asked if a good time guesstimate would surpass 6 months. Our director said no and her best guess would be 30 to 90 days... again just a guess.

Now we have to go through the correct channels through our agency, SLC their social workers, govt. social workers, prison workers & court workers to resolve this. We also have to remember that we are bridging a gap between two very different cultures and have to respect their ways of life. The Emancipated American in me has to reign herself in and practice deep patience if we want Milana to come home. If anyone gets involved from the outside and the proper channels are not followed, it could jeopardize our adoption and we don't want that at all. So I am asking any of my well-meaning friends that may know any channels in TW to NOT (I repeat NOT) contact anyone on our behalf. Thank you for thinking of us though. We are confident we are in good hands and SLC workers are definitely on top of this.

I had a gut feeling something was wrong, especially regarding the birthgivers' inability to sign papers. I even wrote to our agency about this deep fear & everything checked out ok at that time, but one guarantee about adopting is nothing is written in stone and we have to make sure we do all things legally and correctly. It took a while to find that problem, but my gut feeling proved to be correct. Finally, I knew I wasn't crazy or delusional about my feeling; something was wrong and now that it has reared it's head, we can work through it. I also know we've done everything in our power to further this adoption (I double checked and asked if there was anything more we could do); our agency is doing everything they can do & now it is up to some very awesome SLC social workers we've never met to advocate for us & get the govt. social worker & birthgivers to make ends meet.

I know we will not see Milana's second birthday and we can go shopping for her and celebrate here instead. I know we will see many friends pick up their children and get to see the miracle of families being made. We know our wait after referral may reach a year or more. Unfortunately, I have no idea how this journey will end, but at least we've identified the problem. It is way worse not knowing what is wrong but having mother's intuition haunt you that something is terribly wrong (which is part of the reason I was angry earlier... to feel that hover over you and you feel helpless to calm it). We hope and pray that it is His will for this problem to be resolved and Milana to be home in OUR home one day, with a prayer too that we will find comfort and peace during this time.

On a very happy note!!! Two lovely friends have just received First Decree and are expected to travel soon!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS on such a huge occasion. May you travel swiftly and safely and have a very sweet homecoming. Remember how blessed and fortunate you are and give your little boys hugs for me. =0) Congrats Mama"M" and Mama "S" (initials in case they prefer anonymity). =0)

Story Time

2009-03-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yup, I have a story for ya.
I cried today. I walked into the kitchen to pour the cereal for the kids and I put down the bowls on a grainy feeling counter. I lifted them to find a pile of protein shake powder poured on the counter as I do every morning. Donnie leaves for work early and always pours protein powder into a baggie to take to work with him and I always get a counter that is fit for tap dancing.

So instead of rolling my eyes and wiping the counter, the tears started and a story I read came to me. It is a story of an elderly married couple who started relearning how to love each other after the children had grown and moved away. One thing that bugged the wife so badly was splattered toothpaste on the mirror that she had to wipe off every morning. She complained to her husband about it everyday and it never resolved itself. As life passed, her husband passed away. She came home and wiped the toothpaste off for the last time. The next day, she brushed her teeth noticing for the first time that she was splattering the toothpaste on the mirror as well. She wished that she had not cared so much about the toothpaste and more about the fact that he was there to make it with her. She had never thought that she was making messes as well. How hard would it be to brush her teeth everyday and see the mess she made and remember all the times she yelled at him to stop. She had missed out on so many years that she could have been focusing on being happy that he was there to spend her life with.

So instead of being grumpy about protein shake powder, I was so glad to have my husband here to clean up after. I sat there looking at protein powder, crying happy tears to see it. I hope that I see little messes all over for many many years to come. So Donnie, thank you for leaving shaving hairs near the sink and floor by the trash can. Thank you for leaving little bits of powder on the counter. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Happy Birthday You Handsome Man!

2009-03-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

Kole, this song is just for you my man! You bring so much joy to my life and make me smile everyday with your quirky fun and sayings. You are rocking this world with the 5 years you've graced it with your presence. I know you'll make your life an awesome masterpiece and I'm loving every second I am a part of it, more than you'll ever know. Thank you for being my boy and giving me super "melty" bear hugs. I love you forever and always. Have the best birthday week!

I love the look of surprise on a child's face!

Give my kid a pirate sword...

Sheer joy of a birthday song!

He looks like he's going to explode! ha ha

Jadyn took this picture of Nika for you Kole!

Birthdays Coming Soon & emotional release

2009-03-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, so hang tight for the birthday zoo. Kole's birthday is this week and Jadyn and Donnie's is in the next two weeks. Nika and I were born on the same day in April and Milana's is at the end of April. Just thought I'd give you all a warning of birthday midnight madness. WOOOHOOOO!!! Very excited about all these birthdays... it's a blast. Pictures will follow. =0) Also can we freeze time for a minute... Kole is turning 5... a whole hand! And he figured out how to read! "Holey rusted metal, Batman! The ground. It's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey." What an amazing little boy I have!

Also 8 weeks until Milana's 2nd birthday... what do you think? Is it possible to make it? This morning I lay awake after Jadyn woke me up at 1am and I just sat crying silently in Milana's bed. I know it doesn't behoove me to be angry and sad, but I am and only at 1am when everyone else is asleep can I cry & pray & no one sees. I also know it doesn't behoove whomever is holding things up to be work-shy and yes I went there. I really just want to know now... is she going to be our's? Will she really come home? I really feel after 9 months that this is just part of my routine now that will never end. I am having the worst time being in limbo. I don't want to endure this anymore... I'm not giving up, I just need a release.

My thoughts are not kind, friendly, and light when I think about the journey at this point in time. I don't have a journal... this is the closest thing to it so even if it is sinful to be angry or sad, I know it's also sinful to lie and I'm very real baby! I am NO June Cleaver and I do hurt... oh and I can't really cook. ha ha At this point, I'll believe it when I see it.

I just had to get this out so that I can focus on happy thoughts for birthdays. My children do not deserve me being unhappy so my "journal" aka blog gets the brunt of the sadness. My children are a wonderful joy & gift and I'm glad that this journey has not turned me into the total pits, but I can tell you, I am a lot more fun when I'm not thinking about this all the time. I am so very grateful for my family, for my husband and my children and very blessed and fortunate to have them in my lives; I love them with every piece of my being. That is what is so hard and cruel right now... I know what I'm missing with Milana... I know what we're missing and it's hard to put it out of my head when every single giggle and family secret laughter reminds of the one who isn't there.

Why shouldn't I be allowed to discuss my feelings? I spend so much time reading to my children, books that speak about feelings and learning how to embrace them, so right now, I'm embracing mine. Anger Management is just that, management... not eradication. This (blogging) is how I'm managing mine so it doesn't become all-consuming. So if you all are wondering how I'm doing or holding up, I'm managing just fine, but that doesn't mean I'm not sad, angry, or depressed at times. So coming up, you'll see a lot of happy family moments... but don't think for a second that I have forgotten the one not in my home, but in my heart.

So this concludes the test of Sara's anger management... this was only a test. ;0) ha ha

2009-02-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

Bring Dorothy Home Quickly! Alright Tisra has an awesome fund raiser running untill April 13th through 17th, not only am I excited for her finally getting to fund raise and think about travelling and bringing home that sweet angel, but she has some SWEET prizes. WEEEEE... okay a wii... and other great stuff! And some of the proceeds get passed on to Shaohannah's Hope who help other families cover their adoption costs. Plus you get to be apart of helping people build their families! =0) p.s. Tisra, LOVE the family photo!

As for this week... it's been busy. We've been house hunting for a bigger home... which is exhausting. We won't move officially until after Milana is home and we may move our stuff slowly over to the new home; we'll just roll with the flow.... or boucne along, whatever.

Let's see, Kole asked me if he can have a fruit bat as a pet, Nika went to her first play with a school field trip, Pippi Longstockings where she was able to sit on the front row... and meet the cast! So fun, Jadyn, is coming back fiesty and strong from RSV and back to torturing Kole... I know her Milana will be a hoot and always little someones to keep 8 of my eyes on... awh, man... I don't have eight eyes!?

Oh and they have this dog puppet that sings when you move his mouth, Mary Chapin Carpenter's "Why Do Birds..." yeah I know that's not the title... go with it. =0) They named him Jibby?! Jibby... all three children agreed on one name Jibby!? Go figure... exactly what I was trying to do for a week as they carried him everywhere loving on him, taking turns with him, in ahhh of Jibby (by the way, he was a left over Valentine animal at the store for a buck... gotta love when they love the cheap stuff).

So finally I have dad run in and weasel out why he is named Jibby (all I got was, "because that's his name." So they tell Dad, "Because he says his name, Why do Birds, suddenly appear, everytime, you are near. Just like me, they Love Jibby" HA HA Awh, Jibby you made my children make my day.... now if only you can replenish my sleep and energy because house shopping is no longer fun.... my calves hurt from so many stairs... yeah I seem to have gotten whimpy. he he
PLEASE!!!

PLEEEEASEE!!!! Enter the drawing.
(Jadyn's first birthday!)

Please?

Want a Chinese Bath?

2009-02-25T13:47:00.001-08:00

EDIT! Donnie came home and found a guy in the picture. I thought there were no people in it. So this is now a "Find Donnie's Great Great Grandpa" picture! ha ha

Okay, this is a picture I found going through old things that belonged to my husband's Grandmother after she passed away. It gave me a little giggle.

The big bowl reads, "Chinese Bath Tub. Back Scrub 5 cents. Full scrub 10 cents. Try It For Size."

Look at the house on the hill, the stage coach and that train. I have no idea what that sign in the background reads or how old this picture is. I believe it is old Nevada, Utah or California, not sure. And no, this isn't a find Donnie picture! ha ha Find Donnie And Find Donnie Again!

Danger of Commercials

2009-02-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Beware of Capri-Sun commercials. I was walking around my kitchen and my feet kept sticking to the floor. I looked at my socks and there was sticky stuff all over the bottom. I can't really see anything so I stoop to the ground and rub the floor... something sticky alright. It's everywhere, all over the whole thing... like a mop of sticky swabbed the deck.

I knew it wasn't Jadyn, she had been asleep for two hours... Nika was at school... Kole was the only one left. So I ask, "Kole did you spill your juice that I gave you earlier?" "Sorry mom." My turn, "But Kole it is all over the kitchen; did you squish the package and walk around the kitchen pouring it on the floor?"

Kole's response: "Well, I was disturbed by the tv... I'm sorry but it disturbed me into doing it. I jumped on the Caprisun when I stuck it on the ground and ... I'm sorry, the juice jumped out and sprayed all over... but not like the Caprisun commercial when he jumps on it and I couldn't stop it.. but I'm sorry I was just disturbed by the tv. But it didn't do it like the tv... then my clothes didn't go burrrghggghh and then fly and then whoosh & then respect it.... Mama... I didn't respect the pouch, I'm sorry"

After posting this, I let the children watch it and explained that you don't step on your juice... all the while, Jadyn is jumping up and down, Nika is giggling and Kole is saying in a deep voice, Respect the pouch, Respect it! There are dangers in them r commercials!

Smile

2009-02-18T08:31:00.000-08:00

No, no new picture updates but Milana's smile is contagious especially with the cute crumbs on her bottom lip.

It was hard to listen to Jadyn cough last night so I turned the fan on in my room so I could get a little sleep, then I slept the rest of the night in her room just to make sure her breathing was okay. Kole is sick too but he tested negative for RSV. We started the antibiotics last night. Didn't know if I wanted to, not knowing if it was a bacterial or viral infection and the doctor said we could wait and decide. I figured since Jadyn has never had antiobiotcs and we rarely use them unless necessary, we'd give it a shot and see what happens.

Today, MUY MUCH improvement with Kole. Jadyn is picking up a little steam but we still have a long way to go. Poor little dears. Nika has to remember patience with the sickies... that's a more difficult task for her. She can whip up some awesome fashion designs in seconds but when it comes to the little ones putting something out of order... I see steam, people! We do breathing techniques that I taught her from yoga & I can't help but giggle at her. She's so peppy & fiesty!

Love you all my little ones... I'm really at the "can not wait any longer until you are all together stage." Am I being punked? Ashton, this ain't funny no mo!

RSV

2009-02-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

Welll My little Miss Jadyn has RSV. Poor little thing. Kole didn't test positive for it but both have been battling a nasty cold for a while. Keeps me busy. It actually is probably two to three different cold strains because it has lasted a while. The doctors and I are taking a wait and see approach. I'm doubling up on the fluids and actually getting a little sunshine helps a bit even if it is just for moods and vitamin D. Plus Vegas has been moist lately (thank Heavens!). So I have the antibiotic prescriptions if I need to use them but I'm hoping that with enough immune boosting foods and some TLC... we can finally get well. Nika, Donnie and I are hanging in there; we passed the cold already.... we definitely need a vacation from germs!

I'm looking forward to better health days! Keep Jadyn in your thoughts...RSV makes me a bit nervous.... thankfully she isn't a newborn preemie.

My New Niece

2009-02-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

Introducing my newest little niece Mara. She was born this month (but I keep birthday dates private). She was a tiny bit early but is doing well. She was 6 pounds 5 ounces which is great for an early arrival (and for mine whom were overdue... except Jadyn 7. 14)! Congratulations Sara & Eric, Mara is so sweet and beautiful. Can't wait to meet her in person... we'll visit sometime after Milana comes home. Hey, I think they are the first M's in the family... oh and Mikkel! Oh my, look at this little itty bitty! I know you and your children are ecstatic. Recover soon and well Sara... miss you and love you all a lot. Recover well is right.... Sara and Eric have 6 children!

Yes, my sister in law and I have the same name... was pretty funny when I wasn't married and had the same last name. She'd always introduce me to her friends as my sister Sara, and they'd always look at us crazy. "Hi, my name is Darryl, This is my brother Darryl." ha ha Her eldest thinks it is a crack up and always laughs with Nika, "You're mom & mine have the same name and they act alike too!" ha ha Sara, we must be robots... what do you think? j/j

Congratulations again on this little piece of Heaven.

For all those who are wondering, I have 23 nieces, nephews & grand nephews, and 4 of my own so that brings the number to 27 (please let me not forget one). I have to count them on fingers as I name them. When my siblings and I get together with all the wives and husbands and children, Donnie says we sound like chickens... well mostly just the women (or wemon as Donnie spells it... I keep telling him we aren't spelled like demon). I'm very comfortable in big crowds so Donnie always has to remind me when in grocery stores that it is too crowded. I should fit right in in Taipei! Okay minus my Caucasian-ness.... at least I'm the right height... okay my butt may be a dead give away... ha ha I can just wear black pants... except I may knock people over because it's in disguise. I knock the kids over all the time... no joke. Okay, I better post this before I ramble anymore out.

This will be me if we miss our flights! fgghgg cxvcsklpdggeghvcrfbmebg,ghiykkole (Kole's addition to this blog... he just woke up so bye!

Had to add an amazing one just so we can see some awesomeness after some of my ergh I mean flight lady's lunacy. Also the title bugs me... she's not crazy, she's awesome and has some serious skills.

The Invisible Woman

2009-02-15T11:27:00.000-08:00

I liked this, partly for the reason that you wonder how much you are appreciated for what you do sometimes... this reminds me that it is so much bigger and better than appreciation. I may not have all the riches in the world, or time in the world, but what I do makes a difference. What you do makes a difference.

Help Tisra & More

2009-02-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

Row Toward Shore is a company whose aim is to sell their artwork to raise money for their own future adoption(s), but also to help others adopting. If you register with them, they will donate a percentage of sales to your adoption fund when a customer gives a certain code. They also donate to a fund designed to provide adoption grants.

The link I placed on this site is for my friend Tisra whose daughter Dorothy Nirmala is waiting in India. If you would like to help Tisra out, just mention FADELY upon check out. Thank you very much! =0)

JudyK... I just received some things in the mail... you sweet thing you! I have pictures to follow. I just had to say thank you and you brightened my day... see the fun you made. Thank you so much for Milana's gifts. The tiara is in her baby box now... Nika just had to try it on and dance around. Kole kept asking what the snack holder was and I was sticking it on his ear.... followed by delicious kid squeals. Jadyn had to use the snack holder later, but the box was an excellent substitute while she waited for it to be washed. I have to say a big thank you for the CD of Baby's First words in Chinese and the learning video. Jadyn broke our quick tyme on the pc so no sounds will play off those sites for parents wanting to speak any mandarin to their child. I definitely want to make sure my children can have some language skills other than English bouncing around in their brains (although having sung in Italian, Latin, Spanish, Hebrew, German and Mandarin... and growing up in a very multi-lingual area... I have some pretty interesting mumblings coming outta my mouth that my husband often asks what language that was in!) he he =0)

This book is so very sweet & you won't make it through without a tear. And Milana is very spoiled now with French Baby wash!! Shhhh... don't tell my sister... she went to france and may snag that. SHHHHHHh

Here's Kole hiding under the table from the "ear sucker"! ha ha There are so many pictures of this snack holder because I've never seen one of these (yup, I live under a rock)... it is very awesome.

Sarah K... that was so very kind and pulled on my heart -strings... not only did you surprise me with a beautiful fun travel blog-over, but that picture where you put Miss Milana in with Nika Kole and Jadyn was so thoughtful. Thank you for my gifts. I'm busy trying to print it out to put on our fridge... can't get it to load in my Kodak software ... yet. ;0) I can't wait to show everyone our little girl and her first sibling picture! I'm really liking the pink right now... it makes me smile! Also that picture of the flowers up on top are actual pictures! All of them are. Don't they look cool? Don't ask how it's done... have no idea. Sarah started to say and then it just became technical & I was lost! Thank you again Sarah. =0)

On adoption news, there is nothing wrong with our adoption as far as my director, our coordinator in Taiwan and St. Lucy's Center knows. This is actually fantastic news... I was very concerned about possible issues with court and so far so good. We're just hanging in there, hoping final is around the corner. Thank goodness we don't have any issues though. They also said that they are still working on getting photos.... wow.

Sorry guys, been a bit under the weather but I promise to post more when I'm a little more peppy!

OHHH... I almost didn't remember to post about my husband's treasure hunt! haha. Yesterday, Donnie asked me to get him a tums (I know so exciting.. hang in there) and there was a note on the cabinet that said Sara.. hmmmm It said, "It's time for a treasure hunt! If you were Captain Hook, where is the first place you would look?"

Okay I have problems...serious problems... I thought toilet. Who in the world thinks toilet?! Okay second thought was Mermaid Lagoon (daughter's fairy world) because he tries to kidnap the mermaids... no wait, it was the little Indian Girl, Tiger Lily... hubby starts quizing me and laughing hysterically that I am so off. Then he says, who would he go to? So I say "Peter Pan!" Then I decided he had a tree house so it must be in the kids' cottage. He couldn't take it anymore and was laughing too hard so, he told me to ask Kole. Kole took me to "Peter Pan"... his house plant that he named Peter Pan and there in the soil was clue 2.

"If you were hungry... wanted something to eat, this is the place I'd defrost my meat!" Microwave... got that one. Clue 3 "Strike a Pose... This is the place you blow your nose!" Tissue box. Alright doing better! 'You think you're funny; you think you're witty .... go check the only other woman that tells me I'm pretty!" You all would never get this one.

It's his Audi... that car talks to him. No joke, it's a girl's voice too. My husband tells me that his car tells him I love you, and You're beautiful! ha ha Once when Nika was in the car, he told her it talked to him & she started laughing at him. So he yelled at his car, "I have to pee." and the car said, "I'm sorry."

So in this Audi, is a box a reallly cool leather treasure chest and in it were two coin collections (I love coins!). Thank you love... that was the coolest Valentine! You truly are hilarious and thee only one for me!

HaPpY VaLeNtInE's DaY EvErYoNe!

Street Beat

2009-02-09T13:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, I saw something driving down the street that made me giggle a bit. I saw a patrol car pull over and out jumped a 70+ year old Police man. I had to take a double look. There were no other patrol officers in the car. I guess I expected the city patrol people to not be someone who looks like I need to help him cross the street. I think it's great for him to be working and feeling that healthy and brave. I have to include brave... Vegas streets are not that easy. It just gave me a chuckle. I hope he's wanting to work and not just going out of police retirement because of the economy. I'm still trying to imagine him passing the physical exam.... he must seriously ROCK. I mean... he didn't have BACK-UP! I hope he stays safe... bless his hips & knees! That man is risking everything to be dedicated to our safety! And he's breaking down walls and stereotypes. You Go Dude.

p.s. Still having a bit of a cry-fest here and there so maybe this is why this is so funny.

p.s.s I know people talk about ladybugs being lucky& seeing one being lucky, but do you think it counts that I found a dead one at the bottom of my grape package ?!@#$ (that's not a link... the pc won't let me us @ like that without giving a link... go figure)

Mixed Bag

2009-02-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

Serious Things Jumping Over Here!

Alright we'll get the grumpy news over with first: got skipped again on update photos... have absolutely no idea about anything.. no news no nothing. Yesterday was a bit of the pits (well sort of).. I miscalculated and last month I thought I was at 6 months but I remember Judy correcting me saying it was 7 months... well she was right and I didn't realize until yesterday that we have waited 8 months since our daughter first came into our view in a picture. I am so thankful to have her in our lives, but I really really want her IN our lives not skirting our minds with ideas & dreams of her.

Good news... a sweet friend of mine entered court after so long! WOOHOO! And the joys of family have been really very comforting right now. I am allowing all manners of silliness to keep up the happy vibe. Starting with Mr. Bull, Cow, Bison or any other type of Bovine... Happy New Year with our fat chocolate cows! Thank you Donnie for bringing these awesome Golden Cows home... SOOO GOOOOOD!
Kole REALLY looks like he's enjoying that CNY lucky cow.
Jadyn's thinking Kole's cow must be yummier!
Next, Tisra, You are awesome. Your gift arrived with perfect timing. Thank you so very very much, that was very kind. Yesterday was bummy and when I opened your package and saw those baby legs... I finally got to pack Milana's clothes!! I couldn't decide whether to bring warm clothes or light clothes & I didn't want to bring ALL the clothes so your gift was perfect. Well, my children got hold of the clothes happiness & check out the pictures. p.s. No playpen sheets or Baby Legs were harmed in the making of these pics. I have to say... Tisra, you make awesome sheets... very durable and bright & a super hit for imagination. They ran around for an hour with your gifts. Tisra's Etsy shop has some great examples of this great artist's creations.

This fridge picture has a LOT of children in it. ;0)

Kole is very thrilled while inspecting his baby leg.

Jadyn is getting ready to sprint... I could barely get these pictures of her holding still... she kept running screaming all over the house.

Batman Pose (I asked her to pose like Batman)

Welcome to my world!
p.s. If you want more crazy photos while we wait... I have plenty in hiding! Plus I'm entertaining myself quite nicely with all these photos. ha ha

Caution

2009-02-04T15:43:00.001-08:00

Okay this was just funny. I know these signs are there for safety but this gave me a good laugh that I had to share. Pretty intelligent little hacker there.... make them work for their electronic security. Another sign said, "Raptors ahead." he he

Congrats to a friend!

2009-02-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

My friend Jen who is also with our agency just got FINAL!! WOOOHOOO JEN & FAMILY!!!! Hallelujah! We were keeping each other "wo is me company" together while we wait and she was so sweet to call me first thing this morning to tell me before she told others because we promised we would tell each other first. Thanks Jen, that was so very kind and don't worry I'll be right behind ya! I'm so thrilled for you and your family and can't wait to see your little guy in your arms. Now get packing girl... you have some serious stuff to do in less than 3 weeks!! WOW! What a great day! Can you finally breath??!!

Michele, Staci and my other friends who are waiting to get out of court... this train is moving forward slowly... but it's moving! We'll all get there. Sarah K... you better call the minute you are in court! I'm waiting impatiently for fantastic news for all.

To all my blog friends...I am actually reading when I can, normally I try to say a hello once a week, but... we went straight from the stomach flu into a nasty cold that is such a pesty guest! We'll just consider it practice for when Milana gets home and I won't find time to post at all! Doesn't mean I won't try or do weeks in pictures... let's say, four kids, four or more pictures = 4000 words or more, SWEET!

Lora... your kids can come by anytime on snow days or otherwise... although my artsy disorganization of kid collection lovely clutter may scare ya! ha ha

Talk with ya'll soon!

Family Colorology

2009-01-31T09:18:00.000-08:00

My family colors that I love and bring me harmony:

Crazy Hair Day at School
Dislike of Hairspray!
Nika's New Year Lantern (I don't have a picture of her Dragon yet).
"Jadyn? Is this Chocolate Milk?"

"No Jadyn. It's not funny." I'm trying not to laugh.
Here she is waiting to see if I'll start laughing. She actually tried to clean it up herself.
Kole's flying feet & fists of tantrum fury!
Tisra; This is the color fun you heard on the phone! PJ color party at the sink! Food coloring and buckets and dish soap = an hour of fun.

The Hatred of Ponytails!!

If you look closely I'm laughing at her misery... she sat in these ponytails for the pictures only.

A week in pictures, getting messy with life and loving it.

Little Indian Angel

2009-01-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

Tisra and her family have found their daughter and this little ray of sunshine has found her family. What a glorious day when families come together. Tisra, I am so overjoyed that you have finally found who you have waited so long for. I wish you every bit of happiness and a very fast road to Your first Family Adoption Day. Hallelujah Chorus!!

Now what has Sara been up to: Friday last week I had a melt-down of crying... I knew that was the last day we could receive word about our final before Chinese New Year and everything closes down for a while. One wonderful thing about that day... I found out Tisra had found who her family has waited so long for. We started this journey almost at the same time 3 years ago... it took us many places (over and through the woods) and now it is finally starting to come full circle... right at the time we will both be 30! We were waiting to age to 30 so we could go to China when we first started... now Taiwan and India later... we're turning 30. he he

After a good cry... I channelled my energy into something productive. Searching down my lineage... well technically, my husband's mother's side of the family. I love genealogy. Finding ancestors means a lot to me... I never want my children to not know what their ancestors struggled for to get their grandbabies to where they are today. I want them to understand that most of the people who immigrated to America came here to find "freedom" of some kind. Whether religious persecution, pogroms, famine, to find land, etc. were their reasons , they came here through great perseverance and struggles. The ones who didn't come here of their free-will found it through their children when the African American slaves were freed and later unsegregated, when those people who were banished here as punishment for crimes in other countries, and even the Native Americans needed some saving from basically an invader. I hope this country will always remain somehow a land of freedom.

Okay on to the show: We found some interesting names in the line such as Crapo, Shatz and Pinhas... that last one is Hebrew and was translated from my husband's great-grandpa's tombstone. Jewish names written in English are quite interesting. I'm still laughing that if the Crapo's and the Shatz's got married, they could have hyphenated something lovely.

Pinhas is from Odessa (his wife from Poland), but not the Odessa Ukraine we know today, the Odessa, Kherson, Russia, Soviet Union where after Tsar Alexander II was assassinated, the Jewish community was basically looked at like this, 1/3 convert, 1/3 immigrate, 1/3 be exterminated. These relatives escaped a deadly fate by basically hiding, changing names, leaving family & all possessions behind, to survive. I have no idea if I'll ever find many of their names or stories, but they will not just be names on a paper; my children will know their story. We have family from Ireland, Scotland, England, Denmark, France, Germany, Poland, Nicaragua, African American and soon to be Taiwan and many more unknown places that need to be remembered. My Aunt is actually visiting Scotland right now searching through cemeteries and records. One day, I'll find Nudelman and Lieder, Herz and others on some piece of history and they will no longer be a name on a paper, they'll have found their family.

This is what I was raised on... my grandmother loved searching and in turn her son; we spent many hours "going for a quick drive with dad" searching out old cemeteries in the middle of nowhere looking for names. We never told anyone when we were kids because we thought they'd think we were nuts. ha ha Now I don't care if ya'll think I'm nuts. =0)

Okay, so that is what I have been doing. It does (to a point) keep my mind off the fact that we are still waiting for a judge to say okay ... and my children have been learning a bit about history in the process. We still have yet to celebrate CNY ... Vegas always does their CNY the last day with dragon dances and basically a party so maybe we'll have final not so far off from CNY.

Help a friend

2009-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

Click on the above picture to go to their site and see what is up!!!!

Remembering Honey

2009-01-21T09:42:00.000-08:00

Honey with her girls

Honey and Grandma Ethel Christmas/New Years 2007 Grandma Ethel passed away in Feb. Now they are together in Heaven.

This one is so funny! Didn't want your picture taken?

Today we remember Honey Brooke. She went home this day one year ago Remembering Honey a year ago . We miss her terribly but I know it's a lot harder on us than her. I have never erased her phone number out of my cell phone and I wear her clothes, hair-ties, etc. and I feel closer somehow (p.s. Honey, those platform shoes, especially those boots pinch my toes! How did you walk on those things? No pain, no gain, right!). Of course she is very near and watching over us. I was sad that she never met Milana but also know she isn't very far.

Honey studied gymnastics and probably would have been on an Olympic team; she had an accident on the balance bar and never quite regained her former strength. She was a champ on the tread-mill and could run for hours. Gymnastics turned out not to be her calling; it was nursing and she was an awesome O.R. nurse. I remember having Nika and she came up to visit in her scrubs. I was kinda loopey and I couldn't figure out why this scrubbed out nurse was visiting us and cooing all over Nika until she laughed at me and said, "It's Honey, you dork."

Another time, my husband was a teen (also had a mohawk) and walking through the mall with his friends; Honey came walking by and Donnie called out, "Hey Honey!" He ran up gave her a hug talked for a minute and then returned to his friends who thought he was the coolest dude ever for just calling some hot chick Honey and then hugging her. He told them she was his cousin but they didn't believe him.

Oh and that girl got the shopping gene like nobody's business! She LOVES shopping. I see her everytime I watch Disney's Enchanted... Gieselle looks so much like her. I see her in so many places and it makes me smile... I would never want to forget her.

At her funeral, a friend who was a nurse with her talked about how she would miss Honey's odd text messages, like, "I just had a Dr. Pepper"and "I have to pee." She is one of a kind. What an awesome, compassionate Angel God gained this day Jan 20, 2008. We miss you, your daughters and family miss you. We know you are helping the Lord out with some great works. We'll see again and I am so thankful for the time we had here with you. I love you Honey.

Mouths of babes

2009-01-20T12:49:00.000-08:00

Wow...what a day. I love inaugurations. No matter who wins the Presidency, I know they truly this nation. I love how we can change hands peacefully and truly hope that each President will guide wisely.

I want my children to understand the importance of this day. I need them to know not only the significance of every President, but what an honor it is to witness a nation put aside it's prejudices and join in united cause for our country. I've been feeding them tidbits but mostly to Nika because at almost nine years old, she holds more understanding of it's significance. Last night I asked her if she knew what important day was tomorrow; I gave her some clues but her mind drew a blank.

Here Kole pipes up, listening while playing with his toys on the ground, "Obama becomes President of the United States of America tomorrow."... only looking up once to see if we were listening. My husband was doing the dishes and dropped the plate in the sink laughing and I just stood there asking if he really just said that! It was too funny. He says things beyond his age and it is absolutely adorable. So Mr. President ... you are definitely in the hearts & minds of 4 year olds. They depend on you greatly, lead well. Please.

Last night, I had a pretty great dream. Taiwan allowed me to borrow Milana for one day (don't ask what that means because I have no idea... it's a dream). It was so amazing, I didn't like waking up but when I did, I was left with a very good feeling. She came in all shy but warmed up so quickly to all the children and just wanted to play and giggle. And we got to know her and videotape her being tickled with all the others on the floor. I was privileged to hold her, kiss her, rock her and feed her. It was a truly awesome dream and felt so very real. I can't wait for all of it to come true (minus the borrowing part... that made no sense). I normally never say "can't wait" as everyone usually always can... but really.... I AM beyond that can't wait stage.

Oh one more mouths of babes: When I told Jadyn to watch and wave when President Bush left in the helicopter, I said, "Look they're leaving." Jadyn asked, "To go bring Milana home?!"

Nika is having a bit of a rough time... she had a few episodes last week where she was crying each day and said she can't wait any longer. She said it just hurts too badly. I let her take a collage of pictures of Milana to school with her so she would have her near her all day. I received advice from a friend to allow her to go shopping for Milana and also make a book or two of pictures etc. Since she is my eldest, everything I encounter with her is a first in the Great Book of Momma Sara, so if you have anymore advice to keep her hopeful... I'd love to hear it. Thanks everyone and have a wonderful day! =0)

OOhHH! My friend posted this awesome video of Martin Lurther King's speech on her blog: I Have A Dream Thanks Sarah W.

MLK has always been a part of my childhood; my Mother was born on his actual birthday of January 15th. I was always happy to know the answer of his true birthday and not just the federal holiday. Since we've been sick (we're well now.. WOOHOO), I've been behind a bit. Happy Birthday to one the greatest women I have every known and who will ever exist on this earth. You are an angel and I love you so much. You deserve so much but always ask for so little. I can't wait for you to come out and watch the children for the week we are in TW so not only do you get to spoil your Grandbabies, but you'll be right front and center when your little Milana Grandbaby arrives as well. Happy Birthday Mommy.