Before Surgery & Thoughts & Some Pics

They totally did the "slow motion run to each other across the grass and hug" move and I didn't have the camera on video mode.

Here Milana! You Kick Like This!!

This is one of my favorites because it looks like Kole is pulling Milana's hair. He is actually explaining the dynamics of "how to do a jedi force punch." I'm not sure if he made this move up or not.

Oh! My Bubbles!

Are you not turtle-y enough for the turtle club?
Before surgery. I often wonder what she can see. I once asked her and pointed, "Is this the eye you are looking at me with?" She jumped and then laughed and said yes.
Thank you Sarah for the lemonade dress... this child definitely makes lovely life lemonade. P.S.Milana really likes to point and ask for this dress almost everyday.

Today is a choking back the tears day. Tomorrow, Milana's eye muscles for her strabismus will be repositioned. Four months ago tomorrow, Milana walked off a plane, onto American soil, and into our home and hearts. I have seen such growth from all of us. Some tremendous amounts of patience has grown from a tree we didn't know existed. Some more buds of patience continue to grow. A tree of deep soul-searching and deep unconditional love is growing from each of us in different ways and amazingly at different rates. When one of us is weak, the others carry the weight to keep the family going, and most often the person who is faltering. The enrichment this little one has given our lives is something special. It's funny how perspective can give you a heavy dose of what is real and what is your reality.

Perspective. Today, I am quite a bit more patient with the children. Knowing of the surgery to come can do that. I will wake up tomorrow at 5 am, off to the surgery center at 6 am, surgery is at 7:30. I will bundle a still sleeping Milana who I have told about the surgery, shown pictures, and role played a little, but she is still a very oblivious little one who trusts me so much to protect her. I am nervous about her being scared most of all. I am going to ask them to give her a sedative before they separate us... I think it's more for me. Will I feel this way tomorrow? Scared, nervous, hopeful and strangely calm that we will have a helpful outcome.Don't know. I know I won't feel this way even months from now. That's perspective. Hindsight. Life.

That's what happens. I know that I have been guilty of not having fresh perspective, when my nerves are worn and the children are "extra exploratory with brain challenges". This life is all about learning. Tomorrow, my world will not be black and white as a memory or photo, but in full action color. I must love this little girl because man, my heart is breaking a bit. I know it is important for her to have this surgery, but when you are the one experiencing the helplessness of letting others do work on your child, whew... self-restraint and composure... where are you. Wish us well, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Funny, I know my family is strong-willed which I think I may hold the crown... often to prevent mutiny, I must remember to breathe and let life be. As strong willed as Milana is, I have always been told by my mother, You must be stronger. But I know when it comes to coping skills, Milana has us all beat. I stand amazed at her strength to endure. I am often reminded by Donnie when I worry about her, "She can handle it. She is a tough girl." So tomorrow, she will be fine, I will have been have been taught another lesson in life by my two-year old. Everything you need to know in life, your children will teach you.