Our Final Will Not Be Anytime Soon.

I wrote this post on paper after the children went to sleep. This will be long. Oh and I have permission to post all this info from my agency so no worries there.

I spent an hour & a half on the phone with the director of our agency & it is not good news. Okay about the first 20 minutes on the phone, I just sobbed as she talked. Our agency was notified that there is a birthparent paperwork issue that needs to be worked out. Court has completely halted for now.

I am going to write some of Milana's birthgiver info because I am comfortable sharing and all that comes with it. I understand fully that it is hers, but I also know that it will be ours as she comes home and we discuss this openly with all of our children. Our children will know that there is nothing to be ashamed of and we can talk about and make it through anything. I am sharing so future families know of the risks associated with such cases ahead of time as well as know agencies' hands are fairly tied when papers are in Taiwan.

Our child's birthgivers are in prison and the govt. social worker needs them to sign papers for court. They have already signed relinquishment papers; this is something else that either the judge, clerk, or SLC needs to submit the complete package for the adoption to be ruled on. This will take time and there are no guarantees. I asked if a good time guesstimate would surpass 6 months. Our director said no and her best guess would be 30 to 90 days... again just a guess.

Now we have to go through the correct channels through our agency, SLC their social workers, govt. social workers, prison workers & court workers to resolve this. We also have to remember that we are bridging a gap between two very different cultures and have to respect their ways of life. The Emancipated American in me has to reign herself in and practice deep patience if we want Milana to come home. If anyone gets involved from the outside and the proper channels are not followed, it could jeopardize our adoption and we don't want that at all. So I am asking any of my well-meaning friends that may know any channels in TW to NOT (I repeat NOT) contact anyone on our behalf. Thank you for thinking of us though. We are confident we are in good hands and SLC workers are definitely on top of this.

I had a gut feeling something was wrong, especially regarding the birthgivers' inability to sign papers. I even wrote to our agency about this deep fear & everything checked out ok at that time, but one guarantee about adopting is nothing is written in stone and we have to make sure we do all things legally and correctly. It took a while to find that problem, but my gut feeling proved to be correct. Finally, I knew I wasn't crazy or delusional about my feeling; something was wrong and now that it has reared it's head, we can work through it. I also know we've done everything in our power to further this adoption (I double checked and asked if there was anything more we could do); our agency is doing everything they can do & now it is up to some very awesome SLC social workers we've never met to advocate for us & get the govt. social worker & birthgivers to make ends meet.

I know we will not see Milana's second birthday and we can go shopping for her and celebrate here instead. I know we will see many friends pick up their children and get to see the miracle of families being made. We know our wait after referral may reach a year or more. Unfortunately, I have no idea how this journey will end, but at least we've identified the problem. It is way worse not knowing what is wrong but having mother's intuition haunt you that something is terribly wrong (which is part of the reason I was angry earlier... to feel that hover over you and you feel helpless to calm it). We hope and pray that it is His will for this problem to be resolved and Milana to be home in OUR home one day, with a prayer too that we will find comfort and peace during this time.

On a very happy note!!! Two lovely friends have just received First Decree and are expected to travel soon!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS on such a huge occasion. May you travel swiftly and safely and have a very sweet homecoming. Remember how blessed and fortunate you are and give your little boys hugs for me. =0) Congrats Mama"M" and Mama "S" (initials in case they prefer anonymity). =0)