Bummed or not

I was sooo bummed today! The hyenas came out and my little full moon wolverines had me heading for the hills! I found out my daughter had too much partying at her Holiday school party and then kept snacking on her gingerbread house while I wasn't watching. Massive chaos insued and I think I earned a mom merit badge today for making it (my house didn't)! Whew! They also must be ansy about Christmas as well. We're moving it up a day... we can't wait especially because we're doing Christmas here and then over at my hubby's parental unit's home... too much for one day.

I also have had mixed emotions about telling this as I don't want to bum ya'll out as well. My husband's grandma of 89 years is probably going to pass away soon. She has stopped eating and has no desire to go to the doctor. Her health has many issues as well. Her eldest son has tried telling her to eat or he is going to have a feeding tube put in. She doesn't want one and I think we should go with her wishes. I've just been asking what we can do to make her as comfortable as possible.

It's a little hard for me because I have memories about when I sang semi-professionally; we were at this hospice singing one Christmas to the residents when one person passed away mid-song. His family was all there holding his hand and nodded for us to continue. It was so hard to keep composure as the monitor was turned off and the family wept. They told us that we were the best gift they could have ever ask for. I still remember the exact song we sang, "What Child Is This?" when he passed on. It's hard to have those memories refreshed. I'm going to miss his grandma; she's so cute and feisty. I know it is her time and she has passed this life's tests and is sooo excited to see her husband on the other side. I'm just bummed that she won't be here to see our little angel from Taiwan. I guess she's just meant to take care of her before she comes here to Earth. My maternal grandma passed away on my daughter's baby shower and that was bittersweet as well. It's just that everytime people pass on, it just brings up all the memories of those who I can't see for now.

My husband's other Grandfather has Lymphoma cancer as well. He has cysts on his pancreas and somehow was born with two livers. I guess that is what kept him alive for so long as he drinks about a liter of Vodka a day. He's also a bit stubborn as well. His wife is a breast cancer survivor twice and confides in me often because I am fairly level-headed about all this. But who do I confide in when it has become such a sad burden for me to bear. I'm trying to be strong about all this for my children and my family but right now, I just want to enjoy Christmas and not think about this. So I breakdown on you. A quiet helpful ear who have been understanding about all my adoption wackiness. So for the first times probably ever, you've seen me sad. I hope this is not too much on you and won't bum you out on your Holidays... I just needed a friend. Thank you guys! Love ya! Sara

Where to begin!

Since my blogger bogged, crashed, and burned, I've missed out posting some funny stuff! I try to keep busy with my kiddos (which isn't hard) but my mind starts wandering to Taiwan all day. With every smile and kiss that I get from my children, I just crave more. I hold them a little tighter each day. I get unpatient a little less each day. I just want to make sure I treasure every moment as it is so fleeting. I am so thankful for all you out there in Blogland and Groupland who have actually contributed to me being a better person and mother without even knowing it. Through sharing all of your stories, trials, joys, sorrows, I've become more thankful for everything in my life. Not that I was some bummed out hermit, I just appreciate you and want to say thanks. Tomorrow, I'll try to remember the funnies for a good laughs sake! For the time being, enjoy my son being silly! This is really what he looks like up close... I see that at 5 am! LOVE IT!

Finally Logged Back In!!

I was locked out! Couldn't figure out how to log back in forrrrreevvvverrr! We've been on the waiting list as of this coming Thursday 12 weeks!!!! Yippee! For a while way back when, I thought it would take forever just to be waiting. I want to say MERRRYYYY CHRRISSTTTMASSS to all those who celebrate Christmas and HAPPPYYY HOLLLIIIDAAAYS to all those who celebrate other holidays! I want to give thanks to all of those who have blogs and have helped me learn so much about all these processes and timelines and little tidbits! Also thank you for understanding; for traveling this road with me and my family! I appreciate the company and not feeling like it's so dark out there. ~Tear~ I love you all. Merry Christmas again!! Yeah I can log back in now!!! WooHooo

Introducing My Family

These are pictures of my 9 siblings and one with all 12 of us! In the line, we are in order from eldest to youngest except mom stepped in front of dad. I'm the short squatty one with the rose skirt and black top with short dark hair standing next to Chewbacca... I love ya Sasquatch! I'm still short and I'm wearing platforms! hahahehe That is my "little" sister by 3 years... she says it's like living in the "land o da little people!" I don't see no dang rainbow... oh wait, maybe I'm too short. We are a goofy bunch and I adore them. It's been an amazing wild ride but somehow we made it to adulthood haha. Why are they on my blog?... they are a big part of me and key to understanding who I am. Oh and yes, you will have to play "Where's Sara?" because my hair always changes. Good luck!

Taiwanese Children's Books (work in progress)

I've decided to locate children's books that are written by Taiwanese authors and have been translated into English. They also might include ones written about Taiwan that are not necessarily Taiwanese. I thought they would be nice to have. I may also add some favorite Chinese books as well. Stories are such a staple in our home, we'd be lost without them; why not add some that we might have heard if we grew up as children in Taiwan. Being a child is all about imagination anyways, right? SO here is an expanding, tentative rough draft:

1. Tales from a Taiwan Kitchen by Cora Cheney Illustrated by Teng Kung Yun-chang. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1976
A collection of traditional Taiwanese tales that reflect the varied cultural heritage of the island.
2.Dragon Kite of the Autumn Moon by Valerie Reddix, Jean Tseng, Mou-Sien Tseng, 1992
When his grandfather is sick, Tad-Tin goes out to fly his special dragon kite, so that it can take all their troubles away with it.
3. On My Way To Buy Eggs by Chih-Yuan Chen
In this award-winning import from Taiwan, a young girl's errand to the store turns into a sensory adventure.
4. A Family in Taiwan (Families the World Over) by Ling Yu, Chen Minq-Jenq
Presents life in Taiwan as seen through the daily life of a twelve-year-old and her family.
5. The Abacus Contest: Stories from Taiwan and China by Priscilla Wu
These six simply written short stories, which take place in a small manufacturing city in southern Taiwan, are about values: religious, secular, and cultural.
6. Taiwan: Lisa Lin's Painting "Making Mooncakes" by Jacquiline Touba, Barbara Glasser, ph.D. Touba, Lisa Lin
The young Taiwanese artist, Lisa Lin, describes her painting of her family making mooncakes for the Mid-autumn Festival. Beautiful paintings!
7. Happy Birthday to You by Fang Su-chen
winner of the first Mandarin Daily News Children's Literature Award for illustration in 1995.
8. Taiwan in Pictures by Yu, Ling Minneapolis : Lerner Publications, c1989.
9. Guji Guji by Chih-Yuan Chen a book about a crocodile that's "adopted" by a duck family.
10.
An introduction to the geography, history, economy, government, people, and culture of the island republic of Taiwan
Copy and paste this into your browser: http://www.taiwan-taipei.com/taipei_city_tip/smile_kid_learning_store.html
It is a site to a children's store in Taiwan that has English books (I'm planning on stocking up)!

Happy Halloween Hooplah Continues!

We have Kole... little G.I. Joe, Elvis, and tribute to the Vikings (although he kept saying dragon slayer because sisters were a Princess and a dragon). I adore the Elvis... it even had the cape! Jadyn... Jade Dragon. Nika is the Little Mermaid Bride and the fairy one is Bloom from the Winx (if anyone has any clue who that is). The angel is a cousin ... look at that gorgeous red hair!

Happy Halloween!!

Let the costume party begin! Since I have never had a blog and Halloween is very dear to us (my husband proposed to me on Halloween), I'm having a costume parade from the past. Nika picked out the little demon costume and the vampire one (she liked red a lot and now it's pink). We even asked her at the store if she wanted Tinkerbell at age three. Answer... "No momma, Vampire like the little Vampire." That was the only vampire show she's ever seen because vampires give me the willies! I don't like them in cartoons etc. but she is definitely the cutest little vampire I've ever seen. She even picked that mask I was wearing... she couldn't stop laughing when we bought it (maybe it reminded her of momma when she wakes up) . Now we've had a Princess count down for a few years straight which is fine by me. And to think I had to fight her to wear the Fairy costume I made. To Be Continued....

Little Miss Feisty Pants

This one is my comical little spitfire who is so photogenic like her sister if I could just get her to sit still. She is a cute little tank and makes sure that she is not left out! My siblings call her my mini-me ... I think she is an original creation all her own! And don't you just want to squeeze those cheekies???!!! I spent forever trying to find a serious sweet smile picture but she is just a bundle of joyous emotions that can't be bothered to be contained.

Oh I can't wait to add the photos of our newest little one (this blog of mindless rambling helps me try to convince myself that I CAN handle the wait) . This blog will just end up being a picture celebration. I take pictures of my little chickadees almost everyday... I don't want to miss anything. Hope you enjoy photos?!

Mad Hatter

My son is absolutely crazy! I LOVE it! He jumps off of everything and makes crazy star wars and crash noises everytime I turn around (the noises just spew from his mouth... I can't even make half of them)! He's always making crazy Jim Carrey faces (he's never seen him except on the Grinch) and it just cracks me up. And his eyelashes are an inch long!!! So not fair...he's a boy! Just kidding... it's fair.. I get to see him everyday! Somedays, I tell him I'm gonna eat him up (like The Wild Things) and I nibble on his ears or eyes and he just squeals! It's so funny.

Strike A Pose

My child actually just poses this way!!??? We laugh because everytime we take out a camera... she is insta pose! You'd think we told her to do this (well some of them, we'd say act mad and bada boom there you go). My children just amaze me and my children are way more photogenic than I ever was... sheesh can some of those genes rub off on me? And yes! She is wearing my sister's car seat headrest cover on her head!

What's In a Name?!

In need of a nickname...we name our children after we see them so I have to have a nickname for our Taiwanese bundle. For my son, it was Hambone which my daughter so graciously bestowed for him and Bosa because when he was born he growled like a pirate! Captain Jack Sparrow was ridiculous so he became Bosa for Barbosa. Jadyn is Jade Dragon, & Gorge Monkey, and Nika gave her Princess Lemon. Nika was Nikachu after Pikachu which is not because we love Pokemon but because of her thunder attack. Yes, my daughter did the whole grumbling thunder attack just like Pikachu. Later it was shortened to Chou... which in Europe seems to be like Pumpkin only it means cabbage and is a term of endearment so it sticks.

So now we are here waiting, calling this little one... the little baby in Taiwan. We have to think of something. Nika has thought Little Miss Bee is cute. I found this darling drawing of a little girl in a bee ballerina costume. I seem to be leaning towards Bitty Bee. My husband likes it because of Bumblebee the Transformer! Maybe we could call her Rumbler. haha So the search for a name for my littliest monkey in waiting continues. Credit for the picture goes to Variations.

Finally Making That Timeline

~June 30, 2007: sent off homestudy application and our app to FFC (Families for Children)
~July 2007: went mad crazy and filled out all the papers for our hs in record time just over 1 week, baby! Started preparing dossier papers at same time.
~August 2007: received word that our FBi clearances came in... waiting on reference letters to come in (my friend was getting married in a month and super mondo busy)
~Sept. 3, 2007: Homestudy visit (first and only required in my state) so done baby done!
~Sept. 23, 2007: received phone call from social worker because she needed some general clarification on questions. She hadn't typed up the report because one of her birthgivers had spontaneous labor and she was a busy woman.
~Sept. 27, 2007: I believe that was the day FFC received my homestudy because I received my hs through email (since my state won't let me directly recieve it from my sw, only if my intl. agency shares)... HENCE.... OFFICIALLY WAITING for about 18 to 24 months until referral).
~Currently finishing: dossier (one paper left but having trouble getting because it requires going to a jail where a certain celebrity who doesn't deserve mentioning on my blog is being held and a circus of picture mad hatters have cluttered my place of dossier paper finishing),
USCIS which I won't apply for until just before my hs is 6 months old to try and prolong the validity of that sucker,
referral request form... that one was the hardest for us so far to fill out.
MY BLOG!!... it is lacking so I have to catch up and give it pizzazz (is that even a word?) Jazz hands everyone when you say that ;)

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

http://www.halfthesky.org/ I borrowed this phrase from Half the Sky. They have my heart. So do sooooo many other charities (like the one who gives the gift of clean drinking water http://www.a-childs-right.org/ ). I voted for Jenny Brown to run in the Olympics http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/olympics/torch_page.html . I voted for what she represents and loves most in this world: these children. I believe in her. I believe in the amazing responsibility we have for all the children worldwide to be their advocate, to be their voice when they haven't found theirs yet. I'm like Sandra Bullock on Miss Congeniality at the end when she says she really does want world peace. I want World Peace and no more world hunger. I want it more than I can express.

It has been my dream to adopt since I was 4 or 5 and now it's finally becoming a reality. Not only has adoption opened the road to parent a child who needs me as much as I need them, but it has made me a better wife, mother, world citizen and human being. It has opened my eyes to so many issues facing this world and the realities of what I really can do about them. I have big plans!!! HUGE! I am a stay at home mom and am happy raising my children. But when they are in school, no lazy mamba jamba here! I'm off to school. I want to not only gain a career but a skill to help these children. I want my children to learn compassion and what better way than by example. I want them to learn how to love truly and unconditionally for everyone. So even though I am 28 and most everyone has careers etc. and I seem to be moving slowly.... Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still. I'm never going to stand still again and I will get to where I am going... we all will. I have faith in all of us.

California Fires

Last night my husband came home late from work and finally started to fall asleep, when I began screaming in my sleep that the fires were all around us. He immediately leaped out of bed until he realized I was having a dream. I continued that the smoke was too thick and black; that I couldn't see and there was no way out. The roads were closed and how are we going to save the children. He decided it was time to wake me up. When he called my name, I didn't remember a thing and asked him if he was okay and then went back to sleep.

He laughed it off in the morning but that night he thought, "Dang it Wife! Stop watching so much of the fires on tv." I can't. I feel if I don't watch then I somehow disrespect those who are living it. I'm a Cali native and so many of my family and friends live there. This has been hard on me just thinking about and watching it from far away; I can't imagine what they are going through. We will be going to Disneyland this weekend so I guess I shouldn't look out the window or my husband is going to get 2 hotel rooms or some ear plugs.

My heart and prayers go out to all of those who have been affected by this and may our Heavenly Father comfort them. Stay Strong Cali!!

Oh and yes, the house is orange and had orange carpet and orange trees and ... is in Orange!

Don't Feed Gizmo After Midnight

I have been trying to figure out how to customize this blog thing for a while now and am about to give up my creative "genius". I could give the reigns to my husband but giving him a computer is....feeding GIZMO!!! He's amazingly creative and brilliant on pc's but if I ask for help.... you'll never see me again! You'd probably get a wide array of insanity just because he thinks he's funny and I wouldn't know how to change it. So should I give you guys something better to look at by breaking down or let you suffer? hmmmm

FIRST POST EVER!!!!

Congratulations to me!!! I finally was brave enough to set up a blog. Typing on blogs and chats sometimes feels like yelling out into the abyss or some vacant woods, so I might be a rambling mindless mama at times. My husband will laugh because he is not the type for blogs. He'll probably hunt me down if I put up pics of him so we might have to blur faces. haha I come from a family of 12 (9 siblings, 2 parents + ME) so I love company. I don't do abbreviations really so pardon my old school long hand. Our daughter Nika is 7, son Kole is 3 and daughter Jadyn is 1 (17 months). We are adopting a little girl from Taiwan. I compare my children to alot of animals, lovingly of course. I just spent a lot of my time as a child reading a massive animal encyclopedia. Obviously, you will learn lots of useless facts and extract tons of silly stories from my blog so feel free to laugh along with me!

We should be doing our homestudy... aaannnyy miinnuteee! Hopefully sooner than later as that is what starts the wait time until referral in Taiwan adoption. My little ones keep asking when she will be here and I get antsy along with them. I enjoy our children so much that it makes the adoption seem slower because I know of the added fun to come!