Tuesday, January 13, 2009

BLURT

Nika made a CHAIR from megabloks.

This is the cute little girl who is on Milana's toy package that I couldn't fit in her care package.... it looks a bit like her.

Kole playing with Milana's new toys.

Jadyn playing with Milana's new toys.


Okay this is just a blurt... a blubbering blurt. I never really received any confirmation of whether we truly were in court or not. Well through a twist of fate or slip of tongue (I'll take any info right now & not looking any gift horse in any area right now), I received confirmation that we've been in court 3 months.
Good news, most cases seem to take 3 to 4 months... makes me highly antsy and giddy and eager and anxious and nervous and all that rumbling around in my tummy. So maybe any day any week... this minute... Please.

Bad News, also got confirmation that it could be another 3 months for us to finish court. Not happy about that but having some sort of idea of a "due date" it's takes some of the "swelling outta my feet" so to speak.

Also, there aren't any updates of photos... their usually isn't. We'll probably make up for it when we pick her up as most foster families bring photos and toys & clothes etc. to send off with their/our little one (yes, for some time, our little one is their's, absolutely in love with them and so it is right to say that she is their's as well... I have more than enough room to share more love with my daughter from any side of the planet). I love LOVE... I'll take every bit I can get... makes you feel great.

Anyways, side-tracked. I also had a melt down this last week or two... I was so antsy waiting for final and photos that I think anything could set me off. Well turns out it was a play on words or names I should say.

I received a Christmas Card from our agency... I loved it. My husband and children loved it. They sent it to David and Sarah... I'm Sara (no 'h' required) and my husband is Donald. His Dada is David, his brother is David, his uncle is David.... he is no David. Next comes looking for photos. I was checking and checking and instead of photos... I received another name change. Someone added the last names to the pic site and my last name was mispelled to where it became a body part! I became The Brains!

I started bawling! I called my hubby, blubbering, "They think we're The Brains." mmwwhhaaaa it wasn't pretty... he started laughing and I kept saying... It's not funny while stifling laughter. Next came me calling a few friends of mine (whom I thank from the bottom of my heart) and there was crying and understanding and maybe some laughs.
Then I "washed my hands"... I can't let this swallow me up. I'm a strong happy person (at least I think so)... so now I'm on a positive side a bit I guess... trying to be happy. I have so much in my life to be grateful for. My children are so funny because they've been enjoying mom's scatterbrained-ness lately. The other day, I played Dominos with them in my pj's for 2 hours before I realized what I was doing!

SO give me silver linings... anything. I know it's getting closer... how close, I have no idea. I'm going to focus on writing my packing list, planning my trip, focusing on pictures i will get when I arrive, possibly the foster family I'll meet and some families have received not only pictures but albums and clothes and toys... things that we missed putting on her and taking photos of and playing with her, but that she will want to look back on and so will we imagining what it was like. Yes that was a run on sentence... oh well.... p.s. I always forget to spell chack too! ha ha

Silver lining: We know who we are waiting for (so many families do not know yet who they are waiting for and it is heartwrenching).

We are in court: there are friends who have been waiting and trying so hard to make it into court despite huge obstacles and my heart goes out to them.

3 months down, 3 to go... half full! Right?

Milana has a picture book of us... she has seen us!

Someday, I'll be able to show all of you the cuteness that is Milana... yo

We've sent care package with tidbits of home... somehow able to bridge this gap a little.

Someday, this gap will close and we WILL be an eternal family.
Story: Jadyn is certain Milana is no longer in Taiwan anymore and is searching for her... she says that she is at Grandma's house. In the grocery store, she ran up to this little Asian girl, nose to nose and stared into her eyes. Her shoulders slumped after a period of time and she walked off... "not her". Kole has decided that Milana should have Spiderman socks that are too small... those are pretty precious to him. Nika every once in a while, yells out, "Enough is enough!" "When is this done?" "We've waited long enough!" My husband never forgets her in family prayer; I can hear it in his voice, "I want her home." Keeping it together for the troops.... attempting.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

okay, the last paragraph made me weepy. your kids and husband are pretty special peeps.

Tisra said...

Sara,

I know those feelings in your last paragraph. The weary kids. The "strong" husband who is more emotional than expected... it all STINKS. But... you are ON YOUR WAY. I will hold out belief that this sweet girl makes it through courts on the fast side of things. The good news being that this will all come to an end at some point- guaranteed! 2009 is YOUR YEAR! Great and wonderful things are ahead and your daughter is worth waiting for- she is yours!

Tisra
waiting for referral for nearly 21 months (ugh.)

Lisa said...

Thank you so much for stopping by our blog and leaving such happy & sweet thoughts! I can't tell ya how tickled I was to find a 'surprise' comment awaiting me & wanted to thank you for sharing a smile today!
THEN I read your post. Oh gosh, my heart aches for your waiting family & all the families waiting in various stages for the news they need to hear! You obviously approach life with a great attitude, strength & faith; it shines through clearly in your writings!
I hope your good news is on the way and your sweet baby girl is home soon!
I will absolutely be following along! :)
Lisa

Michele M said...

Hey there, so glad you got a "blurb" of hope and tidbit of info. That is great that you know that you are at least "in the systems" and have been for 3 months. It could be another 3 months but than again it could be ALOT sooner. I'm thinking of you.

lorabelle said...

Sometimes when I read your posts it takes me back to my wait for Allie, and I get that same pit in my stomach for you... I never imagined that once I was home with her that I would still go through some of the same feelings waiting for other Mama's to bring their babies home. But in the last 6 weeks, I have been an emotional basket case again myself.GO figure! I'm thrilled that you received some court news,and 3 months isn't a bad number at all. Come on judge, lets pump this one out already...
Keeping ya in my thoughts Lady.
Lora

Sarah k said...

Hey sweetie,
You know, that you know, that you know I love you! I hate that you have not gotten pictures. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT! Come on people.. give the woman pictures!!! Yes, being in court is awesome! And it is usually the 3-4 month period so plan baby plan! And NO we will not go down without a fight.. 80's night? Let's do it!!
And yes, the girl on the package that you told me about ( now I see it on here) does look a little like Milana. Honey, don't lose heart, don't get swallowed.. I won't let the bad people get you! I am here for you.. call anytime and thank you so much for checking on me. You are such a great friend and I love you... I LOVE YOU MAN!!!!
And ya know.. it won't surprise me if she knows you as mama and baba when you go to get her!!!! Put that in your dreams and love it! That's right.. she is being told YOU are HER MOM! Donny is HER DAD! That is so much right there.. when she holds her things, her mind wanders to your home! To how you will smell, look and feel!!! God whispers in her ear that YOU ARE REAL! Just like he whispers in YOUR ear that SHE IS REAL! So hang in there hon. Don't let the bad process get you!!!!
LOVE, Sarah k

momwithfaithandhope said...

Enough is enough! I love it. . .what a great post from the heart. You are so strong, and you are so good to keep a positive attitude - and on days that you don't feel it, well, FAKE IT TILL YOU FEEL IT! You're almost there. Pretty soon we'll be following you on your journey to bring your daughter home! Praying for continued peace in your heart and for an updated photo or two - better yet, let's get that final ruling!!! Hang in there!

Steve n Coco said...

I'm sitting here wishing I could give you a big ol' hug. I'm so happy to hear that you're in the courts, I've been so anxious to hear about it! Nika is right, though, "enough is enough!" This stuff starts to wear on a person (come on over and read my rant for the day...). But blessed are you who were called to this amazing journey. Blessed are you.